“Relationships Over Time”
by Kelvin H. Chin
Life After Life Expert
Have you ever had the experience with a close friend where you haven’t seen them in a long time — maybe even many years — and yet when you get together with them, it’s as if “no time has passed”? You pick up the conversations right where you left off the last time you saw them.
That is a clear indication of a very deep, and very old relationship. I think those types of relationships may go back even beyond this lifetime, and may be hundreds — maybe thousands — of years old.
I have had many experiences like that in this lifetime with close friends. I have also had many experiences where I have had memories of having been with some of my friends and family of this lifetime in other lifetimes.
These sorts of stories are not uncommon in our culture, but most of the time we hear of the pleasant — the friendships — and not the other, not-so-pleasant types of relationships.
But, those exist as well, of course.
We’ve all had difficult relationships over time with family members, colleagues and even acquaintances. In other words, there are of course all manner of degree of relationships. Some closer, some more distant. Some more positive, some more negative.
That is reality. That is real life.
So let’s talk a little bit about how to handle the difficult relationships we might encounter — again, in this lifetime. Because the easy ones are the close friendships, and we all know innately how to nurture those relationships. It’s the difficult ones — the ones where we may even have been enemies in the past — and now we are family members or work colleagues in this lifetime. Those are the difficult ones to manage.
What if the difficult relationship you're having now is with your father or mother or child...or your boss at work? What if you have some insight that that relationship goes beyond this lifetime, that it is very, very old?
First of all, I don’t think the fact that we may remember having been with them before changes anything in terms of the “how” we manage the relationship in the “now.” As I’ve emphasized in other blog essays, “living in the present” is paramount, regardless of whether we remember experiences from other lifetimes or not.
But if we do remember past experiences like that, then I suggest that we use them in a practical way. What I mean by that is to use the details we may recall from that memory of the past relationship to inform us both about ourselves and about the other person’s personality and how he or she might behave with us now. Keep in mind that ‘nothing is written in stone,’ so we should use the data that we have and see if it’s still appropriate now.
Keep it practical, and test it out in your relationship in the present. And keep in mind that people can change over time, albeit incrementally and typically slowly over very long periods of time. So, especially if it has been a very long time since you last interacted with that other person, he or she may have changed somewhat since your last encounter. Consequently, I suggest always giving the other person the benefit of the doubt.
That said, don’t be stupid. What I mean by that is pay attention to the data that you do remember and apply it in that relationship accordingly. As I said, if it works, then that tells you that their personality probably has not changed that much since your last encounter.
So, whether they were even your enemies in another lifetime, it doesn’t matter to this lifetime. This is the one that you’re in now. And if that informs you somewhat in terms of your current relationship with them, that’s fine. But remember, you’re in the ‘here and now’ with them.
Also keep in mind that life is about friendships and relationships — and managing all of that. That’s the body of experience that we carry with us throughout the many lifetimes.
So, even if you remember that you were enemies in another lifetime, don’t hold it against them.
We give ourselves opportunities in life to nurture, repair, expand, and at the very least ‘revisit’ some of the relationships we’ve had. We should use these opportunities wisely. Not squander them.
That said, it’s all about the choices we make. It’s up to each of us to decide “if, how and when.” There’s no Master Plan — there’s no one telling us what we should do.
It’s up to each of us.
Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.OvercomingTheFearOfDeath.org.
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