How The Belief “It Was Meant To Be” Causes Suffering
by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert & Meditation Teacher
First, understand. It’s a belief.
Not a fact.
It’s a belief based on a desire, not based on factual reality.
And if you want to believe it, it’s ok with me. I’m not here to change people’s religious beliefs.
But if you want clarity in your understanding about reality and the universe, consider the following points. Then afterwards, perhaps reconsider whether your thinking that “everything happens for a reason” is a belief based on reality or wishful thinking.
“Everything”
First, when someone says “everything happens for a reason,” the key word is “everything.” That means there are no exceptions. It is an absolute statement.
“Everything” means every thing. Every occurrence. Every single thing that has happened, is happening, or will ever happen.
They mean by saying that, that everything is predestined. Everything in the universe that has already happened was already known (by somebody) that it would happen, and that somebody knows what will happen before it happens.
This concept or theory demands that Free Will, personal choice, does not and cannot exist in the universe.
Free Will and Predestination cannot coexist.
People who say they both exist are simply stating an illogical belief. It’s like saying, “I am sort of pregnant.” No. You either are. Or you are not. It is a binary fact. One or the other. You cannot be both pregnant. And not.
So again. If someone wants to believe that is true, they can. But it’s not based in fact.
The same thing applies to those who say Free Will and Predestination both exist.
The all-knowing somebody
What about this somebody who supposedly knows everything? And can predict everything?
Is that logical? Does that make sense?
This mind would have to be omniscient, all-knowing. And this has been the belief of many religions for millennia.
First, is it logical? Second, why does this belief exist?
It is a logical impossibility. Because “knowing everything” means every thing. Without exception. And therefore, knowing everything means that this mind must also know what it is like to “know nothing.” Because “knowing nothing” is a subset of “knowing everything.”
That is impossible. No mind can — at the same moment — know everything and know nothing.
certainty
But why do we create these illogical beliefs? Because we want certainty. And we would rather have the illusion of certainty than the reality of not having “an answer” — a catch-all answer.
Sort of a “Get out of Jail” card in the board game Monopoly. A free “hall pass” in high school.
But life isn’t a board game.
It’s a journey where Free Will operates. And not just your Free Will. But also the Free Will of quadrillions of other minds on Earth 🌍. Which are all influencing each other in ways that we cannot predict or know absolutely.
I get it.
When something terrible happens to us, we want an explanation. We want a reason. We think that will make us feel better. And it may.
Temporarily.
Until something happens that demonstrates that Free Will really does exist and that Predestination does not. (Remember they are each absolutes. No exceptions can apply.)
inconsistency & suffering
But what do most of us do? We cherry 🍒 pick.
We say, “See, look at this wonderful thing that just happened! It was meant to be!”
And we ignore the examples that show us that not everything is predictable. Not everything is within our control. We selectively choose our evidence to support our belief.
But what happens when we take this inconsistent approach to our thinking?
We leave room for discord within ourselves. Logical and emotional discord. Suffering.
Our mind wants to understand. And our emotions want to feel good. We want to be happy.
The problem is the desire for immediacy. We are impatient. We want “drive-thru” spirituality. We want it quickly. We want it now. And we don’t want to do much — if anything — to get it. Just believe and move on.
happiness
There is nothing amiss with the desire to be happy. I think it’s why we are all here. Both on Earth 🌍 now and on the Other Side later. And wherever we choose to go afterwards. And so on. It is all about the pursuit of happiness to me.
And I have found that — while it does take some additional work — logically thinking about life and the universe has brought me consistency in my thinking and thus emotional stability in my level of contentment. And thus my state of happiness.
Regardless of where the experience falls on the positive-neutral-negative spectrum.
And yes. Even amidst times of extreme sadness.
Summary
So instead of trying to explain everything that happens in life by squeezing a square peg into a round hole, I suggest we accept life in the myriad of ways it presents to us. Enjoy those who are with us for as long as they are with us here. And know that nothing and no one can or is controlling everything.
That we are each Free Will thinking minds who are influencing each other — and who are being influenced by quadrillions of other minds at any given moment. So, yes, while probabilities do exist — nothing can ever be predicted with absolute certainty.
We each need to “turn within,” relax, and gain a sense of inner security and confidence that replaces our seeming need for certainty with a desire to explore and experience the innumerable ways to appreciate the infinite wonder of life’s eternal journey.
Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.