“We Are Not Disconnected From Each Other…”
by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert & Meditation Teacher
We are not disconnected from each other. We are disconnected from ourselves.
The most common misstatement in the spiritual world 🌎 — a world that has too often become an “echo chamber” of dissonant thinking — is that “We are all one.”
The problem with that “external” focus on connecting with others instead of “turning within” and connecting with ourselves is that it continues the illusion and misguided belief that if we only can find more ways to connect outside of ourselves, then we will have world 🌎 peace.
Peace on Earth.
More rallies, more town halls, more sit-downs to discuss our differences.
Not true.
We need to ask ourselves — what is our TRUE desire?
It is inner peace. Right?
Yet, ironically, by continually seeking it outside of ourselves, we push ourselves FURTHER away from fulfilling our true desire.
This “seeking peace by connecting with others” is yet another example of — once again — being fooled by our near-constant overemphasis on the “XYZ” side of the “Conscious of XYZ” model. That’s the phrase I long ago borrowed from my good friend Charlie to illustrate our infatuation with the external over the internal.
If we don’t each deal with our inner discord, then we will simply bring that discord to the rallies and town halls, and end up expressing that lack of inner peace in a myriad of externalized frustrations. We see it played out all the time.
And many spiritual seekers and their teachers are just as guilty of being seduced by the external. They may use less obvious terminology — not talking about “financial” materialism, for example, but materialism can be “spiritual” as well.
You might ask: “Who cares? Why does this matter?”
Because it causes people to stray further from that “peace” that they so desire in the first place.
Focusing on the XYZ’s lures us to be ever more distracted by trucks, flashy cars, big houses, clothes — and yes, even NDEs, STEs and other spiritual experiences that often elicit the “Wow, Gee whiz” reactions from those who have not had them. All of these are external in the way I’m defining it. They are all identifiable, concrete XYZ’s.
External to what?
External to our essential individual selves — our minds. Each of our minds which are unique from each other. (Note: I use “mind” since it is non-cultural and non-religious, but you could substitute “soul, spirit, consciousness” as a synonym.)
That above sample of XYZ’s are all simply experiences that someone may have. And experiences are fleeting — they come and go. So, “hitching your wagon” to fleeting experiences means by definition that your experience of happiness and peace will itself always be elusive — and fleeting.
And this leads to suffering. That’s what unfulfilled desires are — unhappiness. Lack of peace.
Oneness or “One-mess”?
So, back to the idea of “connecting with all of humankind” as a means to happiness and world peace.
People think they are doing something wrong when they don’t “feel connected” to all humankind. So they jump to the incorrect conclusion that the solution is to “experience that we are all one.”
First, let’s understand that there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking connection with others — as long as we first “turn within” to connect with ourselves before we seek happiness and peace outside. In fact, I think “connection” with others can be a source of great happiness in life.
However, “connection” is not the same thing as “oneness with all other beings.” Connection does not mean “sameness.” It does not mean “we merge” with all other beings.
This is a common misstatement in today’s “pop spiritual culture.”
So we can travel as smoothly as possible along our respective paths to happiness, we need to be cognizant of the misplaced application of mathematical probability theories — like Quantum Mechanics — that have been contorted into allegedly “proving” this “oneness” theory.
Just because someone with a science background and an MD or PhD says it is so, does not make it accurate. Ask an actual expert in Quantum Mechanics if it is an accurate application of their theory. Ask if the theory was meant to explain physical reality. (Hint: it was not.)
Religious apologists abound on 🌎 Earth — and on the Other Side. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a religious apologist, but they should be honest and state that they are, that they — like religious preachers — have a belief that they are trying to persuade others to follow. Simply pointing to one’s doctorate status and calling oneself a scientist while ignoring the consistent use of rational, logical thinking does not make the analysis “scientific.”
The theory of oneness is a religious belief. Not a scientific fact.
Here’s where it comes from.
Many thousands of years ago, a relatively small group of, what we today would call, “spiritual leaders” each started having profound experiences of “connection” within themselves and extending outward feeling as if connected to all living and non-living things. This genuine experience was discussed over many lifetimes by these spiritual adepts and they quickly became a “self-referential” group, one where they started telling each other interpretations of that experience and then started postulating about what that experience meant in the larger scheme of things — in particular, human development. Thus was born the theory of “enlightenment” — the idea that one might eventually develop to a point where one would “merge” with something they called “the Absolute” or “oneness,” a concept where the individual would lose his or her individuality.
The problem is that after 10,000 years of believing in this theory, not one of those spiritual leaders ever experienced the “merging” they had theorized about. So, they started rethinking the theory.
And now, they have relinquished that theory, and are convinced that the new theory of “life as a continual journey of making choices” makes more sense. Further, the making of choices (Free Will), they are pointing out, is something we each have control over. And they are encouraging us to make more consistent choices that align with bringing each of us more happiness.
So, even that early group of spiritual leaders has decided to jettison the concept of “oneness.”
Jesus Reminds Us
What did Jesus mean when he said, “Seek the Kingdom of Heaven Within”?
He was reminding us to “turn within” — that is my 21st century translation of what I remember him saying. To him “prayer” was not asking for things. It was a simple yet profound means of “turning within” and connecting with oneself — that “Kingdom” of peace within each of us. Many of you do this daily — as you meditate with yourself, allowing your mind to experience itself, its essential nature within.
That is what he taught. He espoused “knowing oneself” in that internal way as a means to “bringing Heaven on Earth” — translation, to uncover and draw out from inside us that profound inner peace so that we can enjoy our lives here on Earth as much as we each can.
He was not saying to “deny” the external world. He was saying to enjoy it. To enjoy it with others. And to enjoy it maximally by turning within first.
Buddha Reminds Us
This is what Buddha meant when he said the world 🌎 is an illusion.
He was advising us to “turn within” first. Not to be seduced by the wonder and beauty of the external world at the expense of one’s inner journey. One’s self-knowing.
But he was not saying to divorce oneself from the world. Just to go inside first. Connect with oneself — the true seat of happiness within. Not to merely get caught up in the external world.
That would be the path of illusion, according to him.
Not New
So, these are not new ideas. They are ancient.
But I think it bears reminding from time to time through the millennia. Because for various reasons — primarily fear and desperation — I have seen us as a species get caught up and seduced sometimes by the purveyors of the “quick fix” who promise us salvation and “world peace” without each of us having to do anything on the inside.
Merely by following a belief system — whether it makes logical sense or not — an implicit or explicit promise is made to us that never materializes.
My suggestion is instead to follow your own path. Do what makes sense to you. And connect with your own inner strength within.
Then you will bring a stronger sense of self — a more self-actualized, nuanced and powerful sense of your being — when and if you choose to connect with others and help bring greater harmony to the world we live in.
You are your best — and ultimately — only teacher.
Take yourself to class inside daily.
Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.