[The following was a life changing epiphany for me many decades ago:
If there is one exception to a phrase, statement or rule about life that has been spoken about as being “universal,” then that rule is incorrect. Because a universal rule cannot be universal if it has even one exception to it.]
“Everything happens for a reason”
“There are no coincidences”
“It was meant to be”
“It was our destiny”
by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert
Why is it important to stop saying these phrases?
Because they are “absolute” statements. That means they must apply in every situation in life.
No exceptions.
But do they?
Our life experience tells us they do not apply in every situation that happens.
So they must be incorrect.
One exception reduces the “absolutely all the time” rule to a mistake.
Why is this important to understand?
Because if we truly believe those incorrect rules, then we must also believe that Free Will does not exist. Those rules mean that we have no choices in life.
If “everything was meant to happen,” then everything is already known — all of your choices, and all of the trillions of other minds’ choices, and all of the effects of those trillions of trillions of choices, etc. Those phrases or rules all mean that everything has been predetermined.
Already set and decided.
So if that’s the case, then why bother to live life?
Pretty dismal, if you ask me.
Also, a terrible unintended consequence of these false beliefs is that we might consciously or subconsciously — incorrectly — think we deserved to be abused when someone else mistreats us.
No. Absolutely not.
The abuser is responsible for his choices. Not you. That abuse was not somehow “preordained” to absolutely happen. He (or she) chose to act inappropriately towards us.
I understand that people often say those things without meaning they’re absolutely true all the time. But English words (or any other language) have meaning. And those words mean “absolutely all the time without exception.”
They may make us feel good and comforted temporarily when we are feeling “down” or insecure, but are they accurate and helpful for our mental health in the longer run?
I think not.
I prefer describing reality the way it is. Not the way we might imagine it to be in one special situation, and then magically change it in another situation, when it doesn’t fit.
I think inner contentment and peace within comes from understanding and accepting reality clearly and with conviction.
Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 50 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.