“Idealistic Realism”
by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert
I’m an “idealistic realist.” That means I have ideals that I aspire to, but I’m realistic about getting there.
Most of us have ideals. Desires and goals. But we don’t match our desires with realistic expectations for achieving those goals.
For example, take the desire for less anxiety and the goal of balance in life, free from the overwhelming grip and pain of anxiety and stress in our lives.
It’s an achievable goal. I’ve helped many people get there in their lives.
But how long does it take?
Of course that’s the million dollar question. And the honest answer is “it depends.” It depends on each person and how much stress they come with, the choices they make, and how patient they are with themselves in achieving a state of more balance in their lives.
The first element is already set. The second and third elements they have control over.
As their teacher I can only guide them. I don’t control those choices. They do.
But I suggest we all need to look realistically at the goal of achieving balance in life. And take the gradual improvements in our lives through meditation and other balancing choices as “successes” along the way.
Unfortunately, the “American” cultural view of “immediate gratification” has spread worldwide over the past 20-30 years. It comes along with the “consume now” economic driver that fuels so many country’s economies today. The more people buy every day, the higher the GDP of the country. And the best way to get people to buy more is to advertise and teach them that having patience is unacceptable. That to be happy we “need more now.”
I suggest that is not healthy. And that impatience breeds more stress and ensures an anxious life.
A friend once told me that “most people have the patience of a flea.”
With the goal of restoring balance in our lives, we need patience. We need to remember that we’ve been collecting and storing our “baggage” for years…and likely decades. At least.
So if you’re 20-30 years old, what if it took 3-5 years of daily twice a day meditating for you to restore balance in your life? Or if you were 40-50 years old, what if it took you 5-10 years to restore a more or less “full” state of balance — meaning you’d likely not be overwhelmed by life experiences anymore? What if it gradually improved over that period of time, but it took that long to more fully establish that more unshakable sense of being?
Would you make that commitment to have that more “unshakable you” for the rest of your life?
Or would you give up after a week or two, or a month or two if your anxiety — that you had been collecting for decades — had not completely dissipated?
I’m here to help people wherever they are on the spectrum of anxiety — from very little (few people) to a lot (most people).
But as I said, I’m an idealistic realist. I know that not everyone has the patience to match their desire for a balanced life with the choices they make and the time it takes to achieve that goal.
Yet the idealist in me welcomes everyone to start that journey and see if they may surprise even themselves in how much patience they may develop along the way as they see gradual improvements in their well-being.
Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 50 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.