“Attachment & Illusion”

“Attachment & Illusion”

by Kelvin Chin
Meditation Teacher 

NON-ATTACHMENT

Where does the notion of “non-attachment” come from?

It stems from the Vedic idea that we are not our thoughts and emotions. Those are our “experiences.” Instead, the teaching point the Vedic teachers were trying to get across was that we are the “experiencer.” Not the experiences. And that I think was their essential point. And I agree with that distinction.

A point of identification I would also call it. That we should not identify our thoughts and actions with “who we are.”

We are the experiencer. Not the experiences.

Make sense?

ILLUSION

Where does the notion of “illusion” come from in spirituality?

It stems from the Buddhist concept (Buddhism is an offshoot of the more ancient Vedic tradition) that the material world we see around us is also not “who we are” in our essence. So it is a similar concept to the previous one about “non-attachment.”

So while I agree with those in principle, I caution us in following those ideas “in practice.”

What do I mean by that?

What I mean is that the principles themselves as a description and suggestion of how we should view our waking state world are accurate and can be helpful, I think.

But I do not think they were meant to be used as a description of a technique or practice of how to change our mindset, our perspectives, or conscious awareness about the material and non-material worlds, or the relationship between the experiencer and his/her experiences.

THE MISTAKE

It is, in essence, a misapplication of the following principle: “The description of where you want to go is not identical to the description of how to get there.”

That, I think, is the most common mistake that has been made in spirituality for millennia:

A description of the goal has been taken to be the means for the path to get there

As I said above, the Vedic idea about non-attachment, and the Buddhist idea about illusion are both accurate descriptions of reality, that the material world is not all that exists. And that we should not get attached to our thoughts, desires and emotions since they are not who we are — we are our own unique individual minds which are experiencing those experiences.

However, how those ideas are put into a self-development practice is where the “rubber meets the road.” Because that inner practice determines all-important outcomes and effects in our daily lives.

Understanding that our mind is distinct from — and not the same as — our thoughts and emotions is an important knowledge point.

That said, using the notion of “non-attachment” as a meditation technique, where one tries to remain “unattached” from one’s thoughts and emotions is an unnecessary and ill-advised jump that often has unintended negative consequences. In my meditation teaching, I would describe that as a forcing of the mind to which the mind resists and then contracts from. This is the exact opposite of what a meditation technique is meant to promote.

Similarly, seeing the material world as “illusion” and using that as an inner mental practice can lead to a dislike — even a contempt and divorcing of oneself from the world 🌎 Long-term practice of such techniques can also lead to halting speech, indicating a lack of full integration of thought and emotion into the speech pattern and behavior.

Why does this happen?

Separation and control. By continually manipulating or forcing the mind into that state, a sort of “split” can occur.

Consistent practice leads to greater separation — separation of mind, body and spirit. Again, the exact opposite intent of meditation techniques.

A REDEFINITION

Instead, an effortless technique of allowing the mind to experience itself in a natural uncontrolled, non-manipulative way nurtures a growing state of connection within oneself. Integration. Coordination and balance among mind, body and spirit.

The goal or objective of any meditation technique should be the same. Allowing the mind to experience itself in this different way, different from applying the same rules that we apply in waking state, and instead applying “meditation rules” in meditation, that lead us to “allowing our mind to experience itself.” 

That’s it. Nothing more complicated than that. But the rubber meets the road in how you get there. The practice itself.

So in the end, technique is everything. But once the pathway is established, and very familiar, even the technique will eventually drop away.

Those meditation teachers who understand and apply these basic principles are the ones who understand more fully how differently the mind operates in meditation than in any other state. Those are the teachers who can help you accelerate your self-knowing, your unique personal growth.

Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Scary Dreams”

“Scary Dreams”

by Kelvin Chin
Meditation Teacher

Scary dreams can happen anytime of course — before or after we learn to meditate. They’re not uncommon and happen when we’re releasing old fears.

There are basically two kinds of dreams — fantasy dreams and creative type dreams. Fantasy dreams can sometimes be fun and other times be scary. Creative dreams are the kind that we can get insights from.

“Turning Within” Meditation can facilitate both types of dreaming. Why? Because this meditation is waking the mind up to more of its creative potential, and at the same time is releasing old stress and balancing the system.

Plus, meditating in the morning right after waking up can also be helpful in spontaneously getting rid of the “cobwebs” sometimes left over from the scary dreams.

Whatever is causing the release, we don’t know, but the meditation is definitely not causing the scary dreams — the stress that you have stored up for probably years (and you are unaware of), is what’s causing the scary dreams. Whether the meditation — or a combination of the meditation and your sleeping — is causing the release, we will never know for sure, but the releasing is what’s good and important.

But regardless of what is causing the release, it’s not uncommon to notice strong, powerful, and sometimes scary dreams. And the intensity of the emotional experience is always connected to the intensity of the stress that has been sitting around in the nervous system. So the more intense it is, the “better a sign” that you have released something very powerful that’s been eating up a lot of energy — psychically, emotionally, or physically — that you were likely not even aware of.

We live in a world from a healthcare standpoint, as you probably know, which does not understand these things very well at all. We tend to live in a culture — and the healthcare world is part of that culture — where we think everything should be fine and smooth and we incorrectly think that is when we are “healthy,” i.e., not symptomatic. (“Give me a pill, and make my problems/symptoms disappear!”) But the symptoms are just a sign of what is underneath, sometimes of tensions and imbalances lying deeply underneath the surface. Those are what are causing our problems and need to be released/balanced.

Also...

We in the process often forget how many decades we’ve been building up junk in our system and while it won’t take decades to get rid of that junk, the rebalancing process will undoubtedly have some ups and downs and not be a completely placid/even/flat situation. It’s weird because we completely accept that we all sometimes have terrible times in our lives (and then when we get past them we often forget that we went through the terrible times). However, when it comes to our mental/emotional/physical health, and when we’re getting healthier, we somehow think (unrealistically) that we should be able to have no ups and downs...

The good news is that this simple meditation technique is accelerating the healing process exponentially because you are not only getting rid of old baggage, but also you are taking on less new junk.

The other thing that I tell people in my meditation classes is that our nervous system is also getting “used to” the balancing and releasing of old junk in the sense that our body does not know yet (especially if you just started recently), that you are going to be doing it every single day twice a day. So the body jumps at the opportunity to try to get rid of as much baggage 🧳 as possible as quickly as possible — which underscores the importance of the consistency and regularity of doing it twice a day in order to train the mind-body system that it can release stuff gradually ...and does not have to try to release it all at once. 
😉

The body seeks balance, i.e., homeostasis.

The “Turning Within” Meditation technique allows the body and mind to naturally get what it has been seeking. In as easy and comfortable a way as possible.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Love & Self-Interest”

“Love & Self-Interest”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

Where does the notion that we “should not be self-interested” come from?

I think one source is the angelic religion. Some people who have had NDEs and some psychics have had communications from light beings who appear to be angels.

Like many of us, some of these beings can become enthusiastic promoting their religious beliefs — which occasionally can even include worshipping them. In those cases, what better message to send to the humans than “you are not worthy,” and “to be worthy, you need to not be selfish and loving yourself is being selfish.”

Now, is this agenda true for all angels? No. Not all of them with whom I’ve communicated are out promoting their religious beliefs. And keep in mind, even those who are proselytizing — going “door-to-door” or in this case “mind-to-mind” — may genuinely think it’s in your best interest for them to guide you in that direction.

They may sincerely believe they know better than you how to live your life.

But for those angels who do that, that is often the first step to convince humans not to self-love, that self-love is selfish. And instead, to convince humans that to love is to “first love others.” Not yourself.

What does that message do? It creates insecurity. It undermines self-confidence. It ultimately creates dependence on others for one’s happiness.

And typically, when a light being talks to humans, those humans listen. Because they often incorrectly assume the light being is all-knowing. And, after all, you may say for example after an NDE, “But they showed me my ‘life review’! It was amazing!”

Yes. But we should not confuse power with wisdom.

And no one can look out for our self-interest as effectively as we each can.

My teaching is that self-interest is neutral. Neither positive nor negative. It just is. It is a universal reality.

So light beings are also naturally self-interested. They will tell you what makes them happy. Which might be following them. Worshipping them. Without any bad intention. As we said, they may actually think it is best for you.

But do you? Always ask yourself that. That’s your self-interest talking. That’s you looking out for yourself.

That’s true self-love.

Don’t allow anyone — whether they are a light being or a human — take away your independent ability to love yourself.

Actually you always have that ability. No one can ever “take it away.” But you can sort of “give it away” by not exercising it.

Love ❤️ is a powerful force in the universe. Exercise it.

And first and foremost, exercise it for yourself. 

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Self-Interested versus Self-Centered”

“Self-Interested versus Self-Centered”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

Could therein be both the cause and solution to the world’s problems on this planet? 

In fact, that may be where “the rubber meets the road” — the distinction between being self-interested and self-centered.

Let’s unbundle this — one of the most widespread human inner conflicts.

Self-Interested 

I think we are all self-interested. Meaning we look out for our own needs, our own interests. What matters to us. I think that’s not only normal and natural. But most importantly, it’s necessary. 

After all, if I didn’t get food and shelter for myself, who else would? On a basic survival level, I wouldn’t survive if I didn’t look out for myself. My needs.

And not just my basic physical needs for survival. I need to look out for and try to meet my mental and emotional needs as well. Because we are not merely physical beings. We are mental, emotional, and arguably, spiritual beings in physical bodies. 

So, someone needs to be the primary caretaker and gatherer of those needs. And that someone is each of us. For each of us. 

That makes logical sense. Right?

And in my opinion, this is important to recognize. Because if we recognize and accept that each of us is self-interested in this way that I’ve described — that it is a normal, natural tendency we all have — then we can be more conscious and intentional about looking out for the needs that others around us may have. Recognize their interests. And perhaps help them meet those needs and interests. 

By doing so, we would support that other person, and nurture and cultivate our relationship with them. By helping them be more happy. And “what goes around, comes around.” Right?

If they’re happier, we’re happier. It’s a win-win.

self-centered = “selfish”

However, if we are unable to be self-aware enough to see that potential asset — that potentially relationship-altering perspective — then our relationship will likely fall into disrepair. 

Because that lack of self-awareness will probably push our neutral self-interested state of mind over to being self-centered. When we become excessively self-interested, we become self-centered. And when that happens, we become selfish.

Isolated

Alone

We have moved off the neutral state of being self-interested to the negative, energy-draining state of being self-centered. We have become “selfish.”

Lonely

We lose our connection with others. Because we have lost our connection within ourselves.

“Turning Within”

By “turning within” and connecting within ourselves, we naturally “feed” ourselves from the inside out. It’s the basis for the process of self-awareness.

Then we can begin to develop a more complete perspective on our place in the world and how to nurture and develop our state of happiness in a way that does not harm others. Does not “take” from others. Does not drain others.

That honors our self-interested nature, and yet, does not cross the line to selfishness.

But it only can be a reality if we each first take care of ourselves from within. By releasing the frustration and anger that accumulates. So we don’t project it onto those around us. That is where self-interest crosses the line to selfishness. That’s when we begin to hurt ourselves and others.

And the development of a life as a self-aware being starts with recognition. So seeing that is a beginning step. Seeing that we sometimes cross that line is a critical first step. Then we can begin to do something about it. We can begin to change our behavior, catching ourselves more often when we see ourselves shifting to being selfish from our normal, innate state of self-interestedness.

But as I said, that cannot be done effectively by simply changing one’s thoughts about this. It has to come from deep within. From the inner fabric of who we are. By stimulating that part of us that can release us from the binding influence of past stresses in our lives, and expanding our conscious capacity for mental experience that truly broadens our perspective.

Then we will feel inwardly more balanced and more naturally find ourselves living life from the normal state of self-interest…with fewer wanderings into selfishness.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“The Nuances of Forgiveness”

“The Nuances of Forgiveness”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

We’ve all heard of the concept of forgiveness.  Or maybe we ourselves have even uttered the words,

“I forgive you”

And many spiritual and religious circles encourage forgiving others often stating outright that it is the “holy” or “righteous” or “giving” or “loving” thing to do. It is often made into a somewhat simplistic, almost trite act that “all good people should do.”

They use the idea of forgiveness as if it implies, “I’m ok with the bad stuff you said or did. I’m not angry at you. And I don’t hold a grudge against you for it.”

And then, poof, everything is hunky-dory after that! Everything is fine.

I think it is more complicated and nuanced than that.

Forgiveness and Love

First, let’s define love. Because I think love plays an intimate role in thinking about forgiveness.

“Love” — in the way I remember Jesus defined and exemplified it in his daily life — is “accepting the other person for who they are, not who you wish they were.”

So let’s keep that definition of love, not the Hollywood romanticized definition of love (as some feeling of butterflies in your tummy...which always goes away eventually after the initial newness of the infatuation wears off), as we think about the idea of Forgiveness.

By using this definition of love as acceptance, we can move away from “judging” the other person internally — their motives, their state of mind, their degree of self-awareness, etc. All of which are impossible to accurately discern and determine.

And instead, we can focus on the other person’s external behavior. What they did or said. And how it affected us.

Forgiveness I’m defining as our decision to move on after accepting whatever that behavior by the other person was. We can either choose to move on with the other person or without them. But forgiving means we are moving on — mentally and emotionally — and yes, maybe physically.

Not forgetting what they said or did. Because no one ever forgets.

But moving forward. That is how I’m using the idea of forgiveness here.

Degrees of Forgiveness

Forgiveness as a simple acceptance of “I’m sorry”

Perhaps the simplest form of forgiveness is the one where the other person just slips up in a relatively minor way, maybe even unintentionally — what we used to call when I was a kid an “Oops” or a “boo-boo”...or maybe even a combination as in, “Oops, I made a boo-boo! Sorry about that!”

So then you say simply, “Yeah, no big deal. I forgive ya.” And you both quickly move on.

That’s the easy situation. The least intense. The almost non-thinking dispensing of forgiveness because whatever the other person perceived as “bad” behavior wasn’t even that bad in your mind or maybe was hardly even noticeable by you.

Love in the way we defined it is easy to implement. It’s easy to accept the other person and what they did because it hardly had an impact on us. The forgiveness is more of an acknowledgement of their saying “I’m sorry” than anything else. Our “judgment meter” was barely turned on. The misstep in their behavior was hardly a ripple in the vast goodness of the ocean of our existing relationship.

We forgave them and moved on.

Forgiveness as “I accept what you did as an expression of who you were at that moment, it was bad, and I’m ok with it”

A slightly more intense level of radar assessment on our part gets triggered here.

Whatever they did — maybe they got in our face and criticized us for something they already know we know we need to act on. It’s as if we go, “Ok, we’ve been down this road before, your behavior ticks me off, but I’ve chosen to live with it.”

Why? Because we’ve chosen to love the other person in that way we described (accepting them for who they are, not who we wish they were). And their “bad” behavior is relatively minor and acceptable, as far as our relationship is concerned.

It’s a bit more intense than the first situation because we are ill affected by the behavior and it does bother us, but again, it is more than a slight ripple, maybe like a wave but still relatively minor on the vast ocean of that relationship.

Forgiveness as “I accept what you did as an expression of who you were at that moment and I’m not ok with it”

In this situation, we need to assess both their behavior and how it affects us more deeply. First, as always, we are assessing the other person’s behavior as acceptable or not.

And where that line is varies from person to person. We are not a monolithic human race who all act and react the same to all situations. We are each unique.

Forgiveness is not a blind act. It may be in theory. But it never is in reality. 

And the last time I checked, we live in reality. Not in some world of theory.

So, when I forgive you for whatever you did that I assessed as bad (maybe hurtful, or inappropriate in some way), I have a choice. I can choose to stay in the relationship or not.

The reality I need to accept is that if I stay in the relationship, I am continuing to accept the potentiality of more of that same bad behavior. Because as the saying goes, “the leopard does not change his spots.”

In other words, people don’t change overnight. Behavior does not change overnight. It takes a long long time, many years, arguably many lifetimes to change deep-seated personality traits that are the source of our behavior, good and bad.

So by making the choice to stay in the relationship, we are choosing to accept the behavior. Make no mistake about it, we need to be clear in our own minds that we are in fact making that choice. By that very action. Even if we say, “I forgive you.”

Said another way, we should not delude ourselves into thinking that since we had a conversation with the other person about the bad behavior, and since we forgave them, that that mere conversation and dispensing of forgiveness will change their behavior. The change of their behavior has to come from within themselves, not from our persuading them to change. Nor by our forgiveness. Forgiveness frees us up — it does not necessarily change them.

And as we said, behavior takes many years to change. 

Forgiveness as “I accept what you did as an expression of who you were at that moment, I’m definitely not ok with it, and
see you later”

In this more intense situation, we have decided that enough is enough. And notwithstanding however many conversations we have had with the other person, we have decided that the level of their bad behavior is such that it is no longer mutually beneficial for us to stay together.

Nevertheless, we can still end the relationship with forgiveness in the way I have suggested here. By moving onward, and going our separate ways. And without anger — because we have accepted them for who they have been (we have not resisted that reality, otherwise that resistance to who they are would have caused us frustration and anger). 

So then, even in this most extreme intense situation, we can still move on with forgiveness and love for the other person. We can choose to do so because the relationship is no longer mutually beneficial. We are no longer being nurtured by the other person in our relationship. 

Moving on in this way would perhaps be a way to demonstrate not only our respect and love for ourselves — the ultimate in self-love — but also showing our maturity as a soul living with and relating with other souls in our many and varied relationships throughout our lives.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Can You Sprint Your Way To Happiness?”

“Can You Sprint Your Way To Happiness?”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

Note: I am the happiness guy.
But I’m the reality guy first.
Otherwise the feeling of happiness is just another “fleeting feeling.”
Here today, gone tomorrow.

Most Americans are sprinters. They sprint with their health, their finances and their relationships. 

We treat our bodies like we’re in an NFL game or on the battlefield.
People even say, “I’m on the battlefield of life…” Life is seen as a fight that must be “won.”

Really?

We triage our bodies from one illness to the next. And the pharmaceutical and insurance companies oblige enthusiastically. For them, the gift to their revenue bottom line doesn’t just come once a year — it’s every day, 365 a year. And we each are complicit in their power, dominance and continued growth. We are addicted to them.

Quick. “Give me a shot of steroids so I can get back in the game, Coach!” And then within 10 years of retirement from the sport, the body gives out. And collapses. Crippled. Living on pain pills. Thinking it’s “normal” aging.

We’ve allowed ourselves to be fooled. It’s not normal “healthy” aging to be on a dozen prescription medications.

It’s…

Justification. 

Call a spade ♠️ a spade. 

We knew better. But the immediate gratification was worth it! Wasn’t it?

Most Americans do not have $400 in savings to pay for an unexpected expense. Studies tell us. Who’s fault is that?

We can blame “the system.” But that only goes so far. 

Did you really need that second (third, fourth) flatscreen TV? Best Buy and Amazon love that you think you did!

But no worries. You can just file (yet another) bankruptcy and start the credit card game all over again. After all, you’re patriotic 🇺🇸 . Right? Absolutely! Your consumerism is helping the American GDP, that’s primarily based on us consuming more and more every year. Whether we need the stuff or not. 

And what about our love lives?

Sad story. Sprinters. Not marathon runners. Short-term commitments. Lacking discrimination or discernment. Little focus. Intermittent at best. 

Ask yourself.

Are you a sprinter running as fast as you can from one crisis to another? From one relationship dating app to another? Or are you a marathon runner in the game of life, enjoying it for the long haul?

Why?

Why are we Americans so enamored with the short-term fix? The quick jolt of bliss. Versus long-term contentment.

I think we have largely forgotten who we are.
We are not consumers.
We are not even Americans. 

We are minds with desires. And we would serve our own happiness more effectively if we looked more closely at why we have those desires. What drives them. And what therefore drives us.

Why do we feel the need to not take time for ourselves? And instead, get the “steroid shot” or pop the pain pill so we can get right back in the “rat race,” back on the “hamster wheel” where we end up wearing ourselves out even more?

Why not cancel the relatives coming over and cooking for them...especially when you don’t really like being with them and they don’t appreciate you and your hospitality anyway?

“Just because you do it every Christmas?” Is that a good enough reason?

Or… “But they’ll be upset…” Oh! So their happiness is more important than yours. Hmmm… Could that perhaps be why you’re so miserable? Self-devaluation?

Food for thought.

Take care of yourself.
If you don’t, who else will?
Find help from friends, real friends…and if necessary, compassionate insightful professionals.

And keep the “long game” in mind.

If you sprint your way through life, you may burn out sooner than you like.
Sure.
Maybe with more “stuff” (TVs, cars, clothes).

But with less happiness, more debt, and alone. Even if you’re married. 

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.OvercomingTheFearOfDeath.org or www.TurningWithin.org.

“Earth as a School to Learn”

“Earth as a School to Learn”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

There is what I consider a false notion promoted by some minds from the afterlife that Earth is some sort of “lower level” school for souls to learn lessons.

Lessons

I think we “can” be here to learn lessons. But that is far different from “we must be here” to learn lessons. In other words, I do not believe that Earth is a “structural place in the universe” where souls are sent to learn lessons.

My experience is that the universe is structurally a much more neutral and egalitarian place than that. It is a place where we each can make of it what we want. That we as minds have Free Will, which means we have an infinite amount of personal choice in our decisions all the time.

Levels

First let’s debunk the idea of “levels.” Whenever I hear someone talk about “levels of evolution,” “levels of consciousness,” or “levels of learning,” it makes me think about the principle that I call “The Importance of Being Important.” That basic principle refers to the idea that many people think they are better than other people. Sometimes they even create third parties (God, gods, angels, ascended masters) who — they claim — judge them as better than others. 

I think we do that when we are feeling insecure, not happy within ourselves, and therefore want to feel better, more secure. Makes sense, right? To do that, we often make others feel “lesser” than we are. By making those around them feel worse, the insecure unhappy person feels better. 

Thus — “The Importance of Being Important.”

I think this is something to guard against and not encourage. Because it forms the seeds of cruelty. Where we may start to go down the hurtful road of deriving happiness from making others feel badly.

It’s a slippery slope. Dehumanizing others by seeing them as “lesser beings” is an age-old tactic to make cruelty acceptable. Don’t fall into that trap. Whether it’s being promoted by someone on this side in the 1930’s or from the other side in 2019. 

So, when I say that I don’t judge others internally, spiritually, in terms of “levels,” does that mean that I see everyone as “the same”? No. But I do not judge other people internally from a spiritual level. 

Why? Because I can’t — I am unable. As compared to whom? Me? I’m still always trying to figure myself out — I am an ever changing being — so how could I ever “judge” someone else in that way?

How can I judge other people spiritually when I am on the Eternal Road of “figuring out myself?!” The road of Know Thyself.

Hypocritical, that would be? I should say so.

But as I have said in other writings, we can look at behavior and judge another person based on whether we want to be with that person, interact with that person, or not. We always have that choice, that ability to exercise our Free Will. With the goal of increasing our happiness. But that is not the same as judging another person’s internal state of being.

More Lifetimes — The Smarter We Get?

What about this common idea in spiritual circles?

“Don’t we get smarter, more evolved the more lifetimes we have on Earth 🌍? Aren’t we here to eventually graduate from the Earth school?”

First, let’s address the lifetimes thing. Yes, I think many of us have been here for many lifetimes, and many of us out of the 7.6 billion humans on planet Earth today in 2019 have not been here for very many lifetimes. Does that mean the ones who have been here for many lifetimes are automatically “smarter,” “more evolved,” or “more developed intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually”?

I think that is actually an easy question to answer. 
Absolutely not. 

The number of lifetimes one has had as a human on planet Earth does not necessarily mean you are smarter in any of those ways. Because how smart we are is dependent on whether we are paying attention or not. 

And over the hundreds of thousands of years — perhaps millions of years — that humans have been on this planet, most of those lifetimes have been spent in what we might call “survival mode.” Gathering and collecting food, finding shelter, warding off predators and disease — enough to keep us alive. Surviving.

And when I have been in survival mode this lifetime, I definitely recall that it has been more difficult for me to be “self-aware,” “loving,” or “thinking of others.”

If we are candid, I think we would all admit that when we are in survival mode, that’s what happens to us. We become all-consumed with living moment to moment. Self-reflection becomes a luxury. Not a “must have.” That makes learning from our life experience very difficult. Even unlikely. 

So, I don’t think it is a foregone conclusion that merely because one has had many lifetimes on this planet, that one has become by that mere fact — by default — a more evolved human being.

Is the number of lifetimes as a human being a factor at all? Yes. However, I think the more meaningful question is this. How many lifetimes has one had in a non-survival mode, where it is more likely that one has had the mental and emotional freedom — the flexibility — to be more self-reflective and self-aware? That is the more important factor than “number of lifetimes.”

Second, why are so many people so eager to get off of planet Earth? Why not enjoy the beauty and physicality of being here while we’re on this planet with its dense physical vibration? Enjoy the sunsets. Enjoy being in our dense physical bodies. Something that many of us will miss, I guarantee you, when we’re on the Other Side. Enjoy the feeling of water 💦 on our bodies when we’re swimming 🏊 or taking a shower 🚿. Enjoy the taste and feel of soft serve ice cream in our mouths — it simply is not the same when we don’t have a physical body!

Enjoy...and Perhaps Choose to Learn

Enjoy life. Whether we’re on this side or the other. 

And when life here gets difficult, which it sometimes does, work through it. Use it as an opportunity to experiment. You might even say “learn from.”

“But wait,” you might say — “I thought you said you didn’t think Earth was a school?!”

Yes. Not a structurally created school. 

But, in my experience, Free Will operates throughout the universe. And that means we can exercise our Free Will to “choose to learn” while we are here on Earth (or anywhere else for that matter). That’s my suggestion and what I choose to do. 

But it’s a choice. Not an order from above. 

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.OvercomingTheFearOfDeath.org or www.TurningWithin.org.

“The Dangers of Emotionally Feeling Good”

“The Dangers of Emotionally Feeling Good”

by Kelvin Chin
Meditation Teacher & Spiritual Coach

I just watched a documentary on Netflix about a religious group where members would do wild meditations jumping around in apparent ecstasy. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. Feeling good is generally a good thing. But is it everything? And is it the best metric to use to assess something’s value in our life?

Merely judging our sense of happiness and well being against whether we emotionally feel good is the norm in our world culture. There is no doubt about that. 

Just look at most best-selling self-help books, workshops and gurus, TV ads (“buy this and feel good”), the pharmaceutical and mental health industry (“take this pill and feel good”),  religious teachers (“believe this whether it makes sense or not because it’ll make you feel good “), and even our educational system (“read this version of history because it’ll make you feel good about your country”). 

Basically any sector of our society. They all preach this “feel good” notion of happiness.

But is it accurate?
Is it foolproof?

It’s Risky

What can make us feel good?

Many things can…

• High self esteem

• Good physical health

• Healthy diet 

• Loving friends 

• Meditation 

• Exercise

All those are arguably good for us. 

But what about…

• Alcohol? 

• Drugs — prescribed and “recreational”?

• Groups that support our beliefs, whether religious, cultural or political — at the exclusion of others?

• Cults?

Hmmmm…maybe not so great for our short or long-term health.  Alcohol is a neurotoxin, drugs have negative side effects, and exclusionary groups and cults limit our thinking to “their” thinking.

But…wait a minute, they make us feel good, don’t they?

The Power of Emotion 

It is indisputably powerful. 

All emotions whether positive or negative are strong moving forces in our psycho-emotional daily life.  Excitement. Joy. Serenity. Love. Anger. Sadness. Fear. 

So it’s no wonder that we all gravitate towards them. However, not only do we naturally experience those feelings — I mean you cannot prevent it — but — and here’s the rub — we also have a tendency to place more weight, more credibility in them as metrics, i.e., as a yardstick, to measure many of the choices we make in life. 

Why?

Because the feeling of feeling is so intoxicating. So alluring. Even if it’s not just feeling good. Even the feeling of feeling badly can be intoxicating to some. Or the feeling of feeling fear — look at how popular death-defying rides at amusement parks are…

And when the feeling is so intoxicating, we sometimes shelve our thinking — yes, even our common sense — in the hope of continuing that enjoyable feeling. Sometimes even well past the point when we “knew better.”

Ever experienced that in, let’s say, a relationship? “I knew I should have left him months ago, but it was so thrilling to be with him…”

The Power of Thinking 

I know that some people put thinking and feeling in the same category. After all, they’re both mental experiences, right?

But at least for the purposes of our discussion here, I think it’s helpful to separate them and look at them individually. 

“Thinking” I’m defining for our narrow purposes here as “thinking rationally, analytically, clearly without cognitive dissonance.”

I think we all understand what thinking rationally and analytically means. In layman‘s language I think we would call it “using our common sense.”

What I mean by “thinking clearly without cognitive dissonance” is not coming to conclusions or making statements that do not make logical sense with our thinking process or prior statements. In other words, coming to conclusions that just don’t fit with what we are saying. Without cognitive dissonance means thinking free from stuff that doesn’t make sense, or said another way, it’s without contradictions.

For example, telling our kids: “Stop playing video games for hours on end! You should give your brain a rest and go outside and get some exercise!” — while we sit on our couch day and night watching hours of TV. That’s cognitively dissonant. In layman’s language we sometimes call it “a mixed message.” We should more honestly call it “a wrong message.”

Or, the health coach or healthcare professional who treats patients and advises them to exercise regularly, and make healthy food choices — yet himself eats at fast food drive-through windows and smokes cigarettes. 

And of course all of these examples affect us individually, personally, when we are the “dissonant actor.” We are not immune to the ill effects of thinking and acting dissonantly. It can cause inner confusion, relationship problems, and can even negatively affect our physical health.

So we can all probably agree that thinking clearly is important. Not only for good parenting, but also for our own individual health and well being. 

The problem is that for most people “thinking clearly” is a big, giant snooze. It’s boring. It just ain’t sexy!

It does not “juice us.” Where’s the tingle, the chills, the shudder?

Right?

I know. I know.

An Emotional Need

But…
What if thinking clearly became an “emotional need”?

What if you somehow found a way to become “juiced,” uplifted, even excited by thinking? And then even more excited by thinking more clearly about yourself, your life, your surroundings, the world, the universe… 

That’s what I’ve come to realize about myself. You could call it a self-realization. Something that I’ve learned about myself in my eternal quest for responding to my inner voice — “Know Thyself.”

It makes me happy to understand more fully and to be able to think more clearly about myself and life’s issues. And even more so by sharing that to help others. I find that emotionally fulfilling. Ok, you may say I sound weird…and you wouldn’t be the first to think that!

Final Thoughts — Buyer Beware

But here’s the main thing to consider. 

I don’t think emotions and emotional needs are — at all — inherently bad. But relying solely on “feeling good” as our yardstick in life can be risky and potentially dangerous. It can lead to blind action and blind following. That is, acting blindly by yourself, say in a toxic relationship. Or blindly following others without regard for one’s own common sense. Without thinking clearly. 

And their self-interests may not align with yours. They may even be totally opposite to yours without your knowing it. 

But again, it’s not the feeling that is bad. It’s the blindness that can often result.

So caveat emptor (“buyer beware”). Or perhaps “thinker beware.” Our thinking mind needs to beware of being overshadowed by its feeling side, at the risk of our real happiness. 

Ignoring that balance
can be dangerous to one’s health and well being. 

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.OvercomingTheFearOfDeath.org or www.TurningWithin.org.

“Crying is Not Weakness”

“Crying is Not Weakness”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

We do a terrible job allowing ourselves to express emotions in our cultures worldwide. This problem does not just exist in the United States. I have clients now in 44 countries, and I’ve seen this problem everywhere, and in all social and economic strata. 

When I say “emotions,” I don’t mean anger, because that emotion gets expressed quite freely in the world. And I think that particular emotion is a result of two things: not accepting reality the way it is, and pent up emotional frustration.

As a result, the most widespread and unfortunately, the most accepted emotion that we see on a daily basis is anger. We see it in many forms — mothers screaming at disobeying children, husbands abusing their wives, teenagers bullying their peers, and wars on many continents. 

To be clear, I’m not here to address the complexities of all those different conflicts.

But I do want to address one aspect of expressing our emotions. Crying. 

We can cry for many reasons...

Sadness or Happiness
Release of pressure
Longing for someone, something or someplace, or 
Recognition — perhaps of an old relationship 

But it’s not a sign of weakness. 

In fact, I think it’s a sign of strength. It’s a sign of inner strength. A sign that the person has a high enough sense of self-esteem that he or she doesn’t care what others think and simply can express his/her emotions as they come up. 

Remember that — when you see someone tearing up and apologizing for “being emotional.”

Instead say, “No, it’s ok for you to express how you’re feeling in that way.”

Acknowledge who they are at that moment in that simple way. By saying that, you are saying, as our Native American friends would say, that you “see” them. 

Recognize that person as a strong person. Someone who may be more in touch with his inner self than you realize. An independent free thinking and feeling being. 

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.OvercomingTheFearOfDeath.org or www.TurningWithin.org.

“Virtue”

“Virtue”

by Kelvin H. Chin
Life After Life Expert

With the recent college admissions scandal dominating the 24/7 news cycle in the U.S., I was reminded once again about the idea of “virtue” that has been contemplated and preached about for millennia.

At first blush, one might think that virtue was totally lost in the minds (and hearts) of those (so far) 50 defendants indicted on March 12, 2019 in this $25 million (so far) scheme to gain access to elite colleges in the U.S. And from a certain point of view, I would have to agree with you. However, I think there is another perspective at play here.

A more insidious one that we as a culture should be aware of. Because self-awareness is the first step to change. And recognizing the need for change is the next step in doing something about it. Perhaps even doing something that is more aligned with one’s inner desires that may, at the same time, actually result in less harm to others — simply put, a more enlightened approach.

Virtue

What do most of us think when we think of the idea of virtue?

I think we think “doing what’s right,” “following the rules of the game,” “being a good person.” Things along those lines. Right?

I think that is a fair definition — at least that is the way we generally have thought of virtue in the past 2,000 years. In the times of Jesus, the idea of “sin” was really meant to be “not following the Jewish rules,” or “not following or obeying the rules of God, the Ten Commandments,” etc.

However, about 500 years earlier, around 2,500 years ago in ancient Greece, the idea of virtue meant something deeper, more intimate. It included the idea of “self-knowledge,” knowing oneself — so it was a more inward way of looking at the concept of virtue. I would argue that it was a more practical way of discussing virtue.

Because rather than arguing over whose rules about the world were right and wrong — and how closely you followed them — to determine whether you were a “virtuous person” or not, the Greeks in 500 B.C. instead looked within. They “turned within” and asked each person to candidly ask themselves what did they find. Did they like what they saw? Did they see anything that needed change? Did they do anything about changing it? Did they “love” what they saw? Did they embrace “who they were” from the inside out?

It was an approach of valuation that was “self-knowledge” focused. Internally focused. Not externally focused.

And yes, while it was most certainly subjective, it did cause people to pause, reflect, go inside, and be introspective. I think there was something healthy about that process that the wider Greek culture benefited from.

Fast forward to today, 21st century planet Earth, and specifically 2019 U.S. culture.

Material Wealth

Today, I think we find ourselves valuing money and wealth accumulation above all else.

We used to value innovation and education more so, and wealth was sometimes a side effect of those pursuits. However, I think in the past 50-60 years or so — starting in the late 1960’s — especially when executive compensation started becoming more tied to stock prices because their compensation was more and more based on the liquidation of their stock options, we have gradually moved more towards a valuing of money and the accumulation of wealth over all else.

We now value “who we are” — our personal identity — based on money and accumulated wealth — whether real wealth or just “perceived” wealth.

A few in our culture have “real” accumulated wealth — hedge fund managers, professional athletes, “A-list” TV and movie stars, CEO’s of Fortune 1000 companies, a handful of big law firm partners, and former U.S. Presidents. But most of us are not that. Most of us just have “perceived” accumulated wealth — driving a Mercedes on a 3-year lease, living in a 5,000 square foot house with a $10,000 a month 30-year mortgage, or maybe living in a 400 square foot studio apartment but carrying a $3,000 designer handbag. That is perceived accumulated wealth. Not real.

But it represents the aspirations of our culture. It represents the values of our culture. To be “seen” as wealthy because “accumulated wealth” means “respect.” It means “I am somebody” in our current U.S. culture.

“I am important.”

At any cost.

Because we have become a culture of “the ends justify the means.”

Anything goes. Even paying people to take your child’s college entrance exam, or photoshopping her pics to send to the universities feigning your child’s ability and even interest to be on the coveted school athletic teams! And I bet that many more than 50 parents are guilty of having done so — I would guess the number is much closer to 100,000 nationwide. Not all wealthy like the celebrities, hedge fund CEO’s and law firm partners in the current criminal lawsuit. But many more parents from the next tier down. That is my guess.

Because it is a reflection of the values of our 2019 culture. Money has become the metric to measure the “value of a human being.” Not their wisdom, moral compass, kindness, or their ability to bring happiness to others. 

A New “Virtue” Going Forward

Yes, even in ancient Greek times, money and wealth accumulation existed. There definitely was an aristocracy — the wealthy and the working class, and even slaves. But virtue in terms of “looking inside” each Greek, regardless of social or economic status, was also highly valued as an integral part of the culture during much of that period.

Even 400 years later, the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius — who was an avid student of Greek history and philosophy and fluent in Greek himself — eschewed his aristocratic birth and in his youth chose to sleep on the floor as was the habit of Stoic philosophers. “Turning within” was an integral part of his life, not just as a child but throughout his adult life.

I think today we need to get a grip on who we are as a culture, and as human beings as a whole. Because we have lost touch with who we are. We have externalized “who we are” and “how we value ourselves” so much that the college admissions scandal we are mesmerized by now is simply a symptom of a deeper disconnect.

A disconnect within.

We are who we are on the inside — regardless of color, wealth, nationality.
We are not our $650 per month Mercedes sedan. We are not defined by which elite university our kids graduated from. 

We are defined by who we are inside, which determines the types of actions and behavior we execute on the outside.

And to make those types of choices more in alignment with our desires that are less likely to hurt others, we need to “turn within” and develop ourselves from the inside out. That is the “virtuous” path that feeds us, that nurtures our souls, and that helps others in their quest for happiness.

A new — yet ancient — definition of “virtue” going forward is what is needed.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.