“Non-Duality Theory Creates Suffering”
by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert
Some notes…
Oneness and Non-Duality = in conflict with Importance of Boundaries
Besides the emotional attraction to the experience of unity, the non-duality theory attracts minds (on Earth 🌎 and on the Other Side) who have often experienced trauma or loneliness in life.
But really it’s a combination of being disconnected within themselves and of misunderstanding the genuine experience of connection.
Disconnected with their own minds — with both their conscious mind as well as the need for making their subconscious more conscious — i.e., disconnected from the actuality of the vastness of their individual mind. The misperceived belief that their individual mind is very limited.
Misunderstanding of the experience of connection with oneself and with our external reality.
Bottom line:
Connection is not “oneness.”
Duality exists.
Duality is not bad.
Experiencer and experience = duality
Experiencer does not in reality ever merge with the experience.
“Feeling connected” is not “losing one’s identity.”
One still retains one’s ability to experience.
“Blanking out” or “unawareness” during meditation is a sign of being overwhelmed. A sign that fear (or physical exhaustion) has overtaken one’s sense of self.
It is the mind passing out. It’s not connection. It’s “disconnection.”
Importance of Boundaries:
Belief in the misunderstanding of non-duality can lead to suffering.
Not establishing and seeing boundaries as a good and appropriate thing in daily life is critical.
Otherwise can lead to getting hurt emotionally, physically or psychically.
Can lead to “letting in” others into one’s life who are not healthy and not supportive of our well being.
More and “all” connection with everyone and everything in the universe is not a sign of increased self-awareness. On the contrary, it’s a sign of naïveté. Of a mind who has not learned the necessity of drawing lines, establishing boundaries. This is one of the key skills of intellectual discrimination. And that starts from within by understanding our own uniqueness in the universe. Rejoicing and embracing that uniqueness. And exercising it when appropriate in our daily lives.
Not confusing that need to establish boundaries with disconnecting from others. Or from “not loving others”!
Love ❤️ is “accepting the other person for who they are — not who we wish they would be.” It is not “losing oneself in the other” — that is actually impossible. And should not be confused with the “feeling” of connection with another person, which is real and genuine.
Understanding those key differences and distinctions is critical for increasing the likelihood that we may live life freer from self-imposed suffering.
Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.