“Reverse Engineering Spirituality”

“Reverse Engineering Spirituality”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

Life purpose? I’m often asked about this concept. 

“But Kel, look at what you’re doing, you’re helping so many people, (etc., etc.)…You have truly found your life purpose!”

First of all, who says that what qualifies as being called “life purpose” has to be directly helping others?

Second, what about everything else I’ve done in my life? Has that “not been my life purpose”???

I think many people look at others who are happy with what they’re doing and think, “See, THEY’VE found THEIR life purpose!”

As if happiness equates with life purpose. That only if you’ve found whatever the elusive “life purpose” is, then and ONLY THEN can you be happy. 

No. No. No. 
Did I say, “No”…???

That is a myth. 

And if you’re being really honest and candid with yourself, when you’re having those self doubts about whether you’re on the path to finding that final portal to “Shangri-La”…your life purpose…you’re usually feeling insecure, dissatisfied, unhappy…maybe even envious of others who seem happier than you. 

So, I think that often leads to “reverse engineering.”

We look at what we want. Happiness. And for us at that moment happiness appears to be what that other person has that we don’t. Work that makes them happy. 

And we conclude: they’ve found their life purpose!

Instead, maybe they’ve been trying out this and trying out that to see what makes them happiest. And they’ve “followed the bread crumbs” — the “do they meet and fulfill my desires” breadcrumbs — and after many such trial and errors, they’ve arrived at where you see them now. 

That’s the more likely scenario. 

Not the usual one taught in many spiritual workshops or YouTube videos where the teacher is guiding you through some exercise to “discover your life purpose.”

That type of workshop appeals to those who believe that there is some preordained “plan” that is somehow written in stone and that if we can only find the “magic key” like we’re in some real life “Indiana Jones” movie playing Harrison Ford, we’ll be happy. Finally. 

That approach assumes there is “an answer,” a state of Perfection, a final goal. And that approach, ironically, breeds continued unhappiness. Because there’s always “more”…and that guarantee of “always more” (whatever, fill in the blank) means “never satisfied.” Never happy. 

So I suggest we shift our priorities and our approach to seeking more contentment by looking more closely at our desires. And determine whether those life choices we have made align with and promote the fulfillment of those desires. 

I suggest we make THAT our “life purpose.” That process. Not some one-off job, that is subject to change when our desires shift. 

That process has helped me become more and more contented with what I’m doing with my life. Perhaps it might help you — and others you may come in contact with — in your eternal journey.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Fear — a Tough Reflection”

“Fear — a Tough Reflection”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

Fear can be used as a means to self neglect. Albeit unconsciously. 

In particular, the fear of moving forward in a productive, healthy way.

When that happens, that can feed the phenomenon of “the Importance of Being Important.”

How?

By subconsciously causing self harm which inevitably invokes empathy, sympathy and even perhaps a public outcry — from one’s close friends, one’s loved ones…

And yes, even mere acquaintances, all shouting — “Save yourself!” “Please! We will miss you!”

All of which focuses enormous attention and energy on us — and suddenly, we feel important. 

We who have neglected taking care of ourselves.

So if we each are truly being candid with ourselves, and if our goal in life is genuinely focused on self development, we may need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask ourselves the tough question:

“Is my fear of moving forward 
actually a selfish way of drawing more attention
to myself
by creating a catastrophe through my own self neglect?”

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Is America in Denial About Its History?”

“Is America in Denial About Its History?”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert 

The current “issue du jour” is racial bias.

And I am not denying that America does have serious race relations issues — look, I have experienced them first-hand growing up in Boston.

But what about:

Anti-Catholic religious bias in politics until the 1960 election of JFK?

Anti-Semitic sentiment throughout the U.S. in the 1930s which was not outraged by how Germany was treating the Jews at the time.

Anti-Japanese and Asian sentiment in the U.S. — long before Pearl Harbor.

Anti-German sentiment in the U.S. — when Hitler rose to power in Europe.

The Puritans, Quakers and Baptists and how they treated each other when they came to the “colonies” in the 1600s.

The Irish and how they were abused when they came to the U.S. during the Potato Famine and afterwards.

The Italians and how they were abused when they immigrated to the U.S. shortly after the Irish influx.

The Polish and how they were abused when they immigrated to the U.S.

The Chinese working on the transcontinental Pacific Railroad, and how they were treated by white Americans — paid 30-50% less than the white workers plus had to buy their own food — and were considered less valuable than the black slaves in America who were seen as  having more “skills” for working in the fields, so the Chinese “coolies” were seen as expendable (10% mortality rate on the railroad from setting dynamite charges, etc.) and later sent to other high risk projects (dredging the Savannah harbor).

And yes, the fact that the original inhabitants of the “country of America” were factually (not a matter of opinion or interpretation) victims of systematic genocide started by the Pilgrims in the 1600s, then continued and coordinated on a much broader scale by nationwide governmental decree in the 1800s by sitting U.S. Presidents and members of Congress.

Ask yourself: 
Can you think of a racial, ethnic or religious immigrant group that has NOT been abused after coming to America? We have all been subject to such bullying. So, let’s stop making out like only our group has been bullied in our American history.

And what about some basic U.S. history of how important France and Prussia were in helping then General George Washington win the Revolutionary War against the British army? That the notion that he did it (or could have done it) on his own with his poorly funded, hardly trained rag-tag collection of “American” troops is a factual fallacy. A myth. Another baseless narrative creating the false belief in the “independent ability” of the U.S. to be able to “do everything on its own.”

That Abraham Lincoln was initially a supporter of sending the American slaves back to Africa to an area called Liberia. And he was not an abolitionist. Even though he considered it morally wrong, he did not believe in abolishing slavery, because it was sanctioned by the U.S. Constitution. And he did not believe black people should have the same rights as white people.

During the Civil War as a potential compromise with certain border states to avoid their secession and to buy him time to convince them to join the Union, Lincoln allowed slavery to exist in Missouri, Kentucky, Maryland and Delaware to which the Emancipation Proclamation did not apply.

These are just a few historical “Facts about America” that most Americans are ignorant about.

I think that ignorance (or “denial” for those re-writers of history books who know but choose to forget) of these imperfections contributes to the myth that Americans are somehow superior to citizens of other nations. That Americans are somehow immune to the biases and resulting mistreatments of other human beings. 

I think this ignorance has sadly led to a “holier than thou” attitude among many Americans — I would say perhaps even among most Americans — that shuts down the American mind to change, to genuine growth. Perhaps more so even than citizens of other countries.

This is especially unfortunate because America is seen worldwide as the “ultimate experiment” in democracy. And if it isn’t working here, then what can be said about the experiments in other countries that are “learning from” observing America? So, in the end, this pressure to be perceived as the “example to the world” I think has created a systemic myth promoted not only by the government but also by its people, the citizens of America.

Note that I am not talking about “white” America. I am talking about all Americans — white, black, brown, and every other shade you want to pick. Because we have all bullied others at one time in our national and personal histories. If we are being candid and honest, we should all be able to admit that.

So, let’s stop blaming one group for this or that.

Because we have all been complicit in this “big lie” that America is some bastion of perfection and freedom. It simply is factually incorrect. Our history tells us so.

Politicians and committees who select which history books our children study in schools need to change their tune. Not to be ashamed of our mistakes, but to learn from them. To be proud of our accomplishments as a nation, but not arrogant. And to be more focused on what our historical reality has been, so we don’t keep repeating the same bad behavior towards others over and over for another 250 years.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Sports & Religion in the U.S.”

“Sports & Religion in the U.S.”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

Many have commented on the decline of organized religion in the United States. It is a fact. Fewer people go to church or follow the religious beliefs of their childhoods or their grandparents. 

Some would say that decline has led to a society that is “rudderless” when it comes to moral values. That even though religions often motivated “kindness and good behavior” by invoking undesirable fear in their flocks (fear of punishment, fear of being shunned, etc.), at least there was some source of moral guidance in our American culture. 

I would say that erosion of religion — as a way that Americans identified with “who they are” (especially as a Catholic, Jew, Protestant, Muslim or other specific religious group) — started in the 1970s. 

People, I think, started to move away for two reasons. A realization that some of the basic underlying foundational beliefs did not make sense. And a nonacceptance of fear as a primary motivator. 

I think over the past 50 years a new “religion” has emerged in America.
Sports. 

I use the word “religion” loosely. But sports in the U.S., especially professional football, has taken on such a powerful grip on most Americans’ minds as to arguably be the significant influencing force on the masses. 

Whether you like it or not. I think that’s a fact. 

And with that powerful platform, speakers from the podium of the NFL have become examples of moral behavior. Good and bad. 

Again, whether you think that is appropriate or not. It has become a fact. 

Power tends to make that reality happen. And in America, power is associated with money. And no other multibillion dollar corporation in the U.S. has a more constant grip on millions of American minds and hearts than sports in general and the NFL in particular. 

Example: the Jon Gruden emails. 

Again, whether you think they should have been revealed to the public or not is irrelevant. The fact is they were. And they have stirred a great deal of conversation from “boardrooms to water coolers,” from “schools to kitchen tables.”

And yes. Within sports itself. Just yesterday the first NFL coach spoke up about it. A rarity in the NFL that in the past has often seen coaches be resoundingly silent on the off-field behavior of other coaches or former coaches. 

On Wednesday, Los Angeles Chargers coach Brandon Staley weighed in on his now ex-AFC West rival. He spoke candidly and at length on his thoughts. Watch the clip if you haven’t yet: https://youtu.be/ZxkVCHsxOAw

So, some of us may still be thinking, “Just shut up and play the game. I’m not here to hear your moral opinions on life. I’m here to watch the game and disengage.”

Like it or not, I think those days of putting our heads in the sand may be over. 

With the power and influence that sports and the NFL have gradually gained over the recent decades, they may have unintentionally graduated to become our new religion. And with that may have come a new level of expectation of their leaders, an expectation to be examples of kindness and respect for those they are leading. 

With the level of worship of money, “winning at all costs” (including sometimes misplaced ethical values (read: cheating)), and whitewashing of child abusers and wife-beaters who can run a 4.2 (second) 40 (yard dash), the NFL is still what some might call a place of “moral rot.”

But I pose this alternative view of sports as food for thought. And as hope for our cultural redemption. 

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“The Ineffectiveness of Running America on Emotional Economics”

“The Ineffectiveness of Running America on Emotional Economics”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

Impossible Reality = Desire for top global wages for American workers + Cheapest products all manufactured in USA 

Flawed approaches:

Pay social welfare to poor sector with no incentive to work: Results in self-loathing by recipients and jealousy/disrespect by non-recipients. 

So the group is demeaned internally and externally. 

Creates an expectation from government to continue to support them, separates them further from other classes. 

Pay wealthy by giving tax benefits hoping that they will share the benefits with others: Results in reinforcing their self-interest, encouraging their worst elements of greed and self-importance. Creates an expectation from government to continue to support them, separates them further from other classes.

Pay corporations by giving tax benefits and subsidies hoping they will pass along to workers and/or innovate to create new or better jobs. Rarely ever happens. Ignores human behavior towards short-term personal self-interest. 

Creates an expectation from government to continue to support them, separates them further from public service sector, which they — ironically — want the support from. 

Solution:

Need to look at each group’s self-interest. Meet that interest in a way that also incentivizes them financially to work harder and smarter (more creativity/innovation/view of how helping others helps oneself). Remove institutional and structural (finance/tax) impediments from doing that. 

Otherwise:

Result = gradual stagnation of national creativity, slow decline in prosperity due to global economic weakness, further separation of social classes, increased strife and discontent, more tribalism and selfishness.

More “me.” Less “we.”

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“The Confusion Over Signs of Destiny”

The Confusion Over “Signs of Destiny”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

This essay was written in May 2018 at the Hanover Inn while I was at an Alumni Council weekend at Dartmouth College.

Have you ever experienced yourself, or maybe heard stories from friends, where something unusual  happened that may have been more than just the usual “coincidence”?

For example, this just happened to me. I seemingly randomly walked into the new student center at my college alma mater. When I was there in the 1970s, there was no such place for students to hang out. We either had our dorm rooms, or…outside (in the freezing cold, -30°F was common in the winter in Hanover, New Hampshire, so outdoor parties...not so much til Spring!!). I went right to the information desk and had a nice far-ranging conversation with the student working there. He of course told me the history of the student center, but we quickly got into personal stuff — my being on campus for the Alumni Council meetings, that I had just come from the building next-door where I had discovered to my pleasant surprise that the meditation center I founded in 1971 was still up on the third floor — although now decorated with fancy furniture, carpeting, dividing walls — a far cry from the Dean’s secretary Mrs. Johnson’s “sure, you can use the third floor but you’ll need to clear out the desks, chairs and other stuff that are stacked up and stored there.” We talked about his film production career after graduation, his playing offensive tackle for the football team, and my nonprofit work. He even suggested an on-campus organization that I should contact to help student-athletes with my meditation work.

An hour later I asked him his name. 

His name has significant meaning for me. I thought, “wow, that’s interesting.” Not a usual name, and one that has a lot of meaning for me personally.

“Marcus.”

Many of us have had similar experiences. That very strange, highly unusual, seemingly random event or chance meeting that otherwise seems inexplicable.

So, we often hear people say, “It was meant to be. It was destiny that it happened. It had to happen.”

Was that a “sign” or evidence that there is something called Destiny?

No, I don’t think so.

And yet I actually think there is a good explanation for why these things happen. As well as a good explanation for why many people think these are signs of some sort of predestination.

Essentially you could distill it down to these two points: 1) yes, there may be communications coming to us from the Other Side, but 2) that does not mean that replaces or usurps Free Will.

Let’s try to unbundle that common conflation in the world — that these sort of “unexplained coincidences” are evidence of destiny or determinism.

First, let’s agree on one thing. That we are all minds or consciousnesses — some people like to use the word souls. I tend to use the word “minds” because it is not religiously or culturally charged. It’s more neutral. Feel free to use a synonym if you like. 

And my experience is that our minds are eternal, or at least they last for a very, very long time based on memories that I have had. I’ve written about this idea of eternity in other blogs and essays.

So that means that our minds can and do exist after the physical death of the body.

My experience also supports the notion that personal choice exists. That Free Will is always operating. Each of us can always choose to make different choices in life, that no one has absolute control over us with “puppet strings,” or maybe even a better image — no one has us chained and enslaved.

Yet, the fact that minds “on the other side of the veil” may sometimes communicate with us on this side can often muddy the waters causing some people to use it as evidence of destiny. The idea that “whisperings from the other side” to minds on this side may create appearances of predestination. 

Instead, I think they are just more examples of things happening caused by the desires and intentions of various minds. 

For example, maybe one of my friends on the Other Side whispers to me as I’m walking across the campus to go explore the old meditation room on the third floor of Robinson Hall, which may also happen to coincide with a desire that I had already had myself. But the whispering simply prods me, pushes me in that direction that I was already leaning in this case. 

Think of it this way. It’s no different from a friend who is in physical form walking alongside of you who says, “let’s go check that old room out.” To me, it’s the same thing. Whether you can see the person or not. Doesn’t matter.

But then it’s still up to me to choose to go or not go. Which is why it does not happen every time, because our Free Will is operating all the time

But, when the mind is more aware, the various desires and intentions are more likely to manifest. It’s all probabilities. Nothing is guaranteed. (Guarantee is implied in the concept of “Destiny.”) But the level of self-awareness of the minds involved definitely comes into play.

So, maybe somebody did whisper to that student working at the information desk, or whispered to a number of people to increase the likelihood that he would be working at the desk on the day I walked in. Who knows?

But, while the confluence of situations and events that led up to my meeting him may seem unusual from a certain perspective, it does not mean that there was a guaranteed meeting — a Destiny.

Why is this important?

Because I think a belief in Destiny is a source of suffering for many people — whether they realize it or not. It can cause people to “hold back,” to be passive in life. Hesitant. Always waiting for some “sign.” And when it doesn’t come, or if it seems to come, and doesn’t work out as expected — despair.

“Why have I been forsaken?”
“What did I do wrong?”
“What did I do to deserve this?”

Instead of taking action and assertively making choices based on the data at hand. And in the long-run, they tend to not learn from their lives on Earth — repeating the same old patterns often based on ancient cognitively inconsistent beliefs — and continue for lifetimes suffering in ways that might be overcome by continued conscious explorations and knowingly making a wider variety of more effective choices over those lifetimes. Without fear of experimenting in those many previous lives through those choices.

That is my reason for sharing these thoughts.

To perhaps, if they resonate, help us see life from different perspectives, different seats in the theater of life, so that we might perceive our long-held ideas and beliefs in a different light. Maybe a light that may bring more clarity to our life’s choices. And thus, less suffering and more happiness.

More contentment as we each travel in our respective journeys through the universe.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Guilty Pleasures”

“Guilty Pleasures”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

Where does this idea come from? Is it good for us to have?

See my essay on “Sex & Spirituality” in my 2021 book Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life. I won’t repeat that essay here, except to say that the origin I think of this notion of “guilty pleasures” came from a bunch of celibate monks 8-10,000 years ago who honestly thought it was good advice.

Food for thought. 

But OK, let’s back up a bit and let’s focus on the “guilty” part. And expand the discussion here beyond just sex.

What is a “guilty pleasure” in our modern day society?

The dictionary definition is “something, such as a movie, TV program, or piece of music, that one enjoys despite feeling that it is not generally held in high regard.”

So, it is something embarrassing to admit to enjoying — like watching reality TV shows, preferring comic books over reading “The Economist” magazine, or eating potato chips as your “vegetable” for your evening meal.

But I want to expand our thinking about “guilty pleasures” from merely the 21st century slang that we may be familiar with. Because I think in that slang phrase lies a deeper, more troubling seed that has grown over the millennia without our knowing or paying attention to.

I think this idea of “guilty pleasures” arises from a “should” place. A “Thou shalt” — or an equally commanding “Thou shalt not” — place. 

“You shouldn’t eat that piece of dark chocolate cake…”

And why “should we not”? Why should we not experience the pleasures of life? Whether they be from chocolate cake, comic books or sex.

I think it may actually originate from the idea that this earthly life is not the important one — we are only here temporarily to get to the Afterlife where we will live for eternity. That will be the place of “pleasure.” So, we should forsake all pleasures while we are living on Earth. We really should not be having fun while here on Earth. Thus, the term “guilty pleasures.”

Also, there is this other element built into the idea of “guilty pleasures.”
The thrill. 

Hold back, hold back, hold back….OK, now let go!

The thrill of the taste of dark chocolate in one’s mouth, the thrill of touching the smoothness of skin in a religiously forbidden area of the body, the thrill of Mardi Gras before Lent starts.

We have a fundamental problem as humans. We are generally fairly numb to experience. Our mental, emotional and physical sensory antennas are dull and poorly calibrated — lacking sharpness and alertness. So we need the roller coaster ride. The fireworks. The thrill to “wake us up” out of our slumber. Our dull state of zombie sleepwalking.

But why is this so? What has caused us to be a population of so many sleepwalkers?

A combination. 

Partially belief based as we have pointed out. But also partially experienced based. We have so little familiarity with the vastness and creativity, and inner power of our mind — our individual consciousness — that we feel very insecure. And are generally inept at accessing the incredible capabilities of our own minds. But since I’ve written elsewhere extensively about how we can expand our capacity (see my book referenced above), I want to stay focused here on this different “approach” to thinking about pleasure. 

Instead…

How about this?

Lean into the pleasure. 

Don’t hold back. Instead, move in the direction of the pleasure. That’s what I mean by “lean into it.” Don’t pull away from it — move towards it.

Savor the dark chocolate cake. Let each morsel be caressed by your tongue and appreciated by your taste buds. Don’t eat it looking over your shoulder to see who is watching you. Judging you. 

Lean into the pleasure.

OK, sure — teasing a little is fine. Playful. But stay clear of the guilt-ridden act of holding back.

And note: Those of you who have read my essays on “selfishness” know that I am not suggesting a culture of hedonism at any cost. An irresponsible pursuit of all pleasures. No. 

But withholding ourselves from enjoying the pleasures of life has created a world 🌎 of suffering. 

I have spoken with many people who have felt guilty about taking care of themselves, of enjoying anything for themselves personally in their lives. Some have said all they find pleasure in is “helping others” at the temple, the food bank, etc. But they then feel guilty whenever they take a moment for themselves so they keep busy all the time to distract themselves from thinking about their needs and desires. 

What a waste of human lifeforce. How sad.

I think far too many well-meaning people live like that. Essentially unhappy their entire lives. But appearing to the outside world as “a Good Samaritan who sacrificed all for the good of others.” A “Mother Theresa.” How many times have you heard that? How many times have you praised someone for that extreme degree of selflessness?

Are you helping or hurting them?

Let’s think about this further.

Why are people cruel in our world 🌎? As I’ve written about, I think because at their core they’re unhappy, insecure people. And to make themselves happier they then need to make others around them unhappy. So the cruel person then feels better! Happier. Accomplished through their cruel behavior. Sometimes consciously. But usually this is unconscious. 

So could we actually be contributing to the cruelty in the world by our not exploring what would give us each personal pleasure? Not that we are acting cruelly towards others intentionally. But are we adding to the unhappiness in the world nevertheless by tacitly demonstrating our belief that “personal pleasure is bad”? 

And by this, are we perhaps creating a greater likelihood of falling prey to the occasional outlet of very unhappy people — treating others badly, cruelly? All subconsciously of course.

Food for thought.

Don’t make “guilt” an integral part of your “seeking of pleasure” in life. 

Why are we here?
Why did we choose to be here in physical biological bodies on Earth?

To enjoy life. All of it. All the parts of it. That’s my opinion. Hopefully without hurting others in the process.

So let’s live it fully — and that means without guilt. Without holding back from the pleasures of life. 

No more “guilty pleasures.” 

Lean into the pleasure.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“A Huge Source of Suffering”

“A Huge Source of Suffering”

Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert & Meditation Teacher

Being an “over-helper”!

Usurps the other person’s sense of control and Free Will.
Trains the person to be enslaved. 

That “unasked for help” immediately feels like a violation to those who are more self-confident. And to those who are less confident about their ability to manage life it feels good — temporarily. Then it eventually feels patronizing and the person develops resentment towards the unasked for help. 

We can see that with raising our children, in our friendships, in our marriages, in our attempts at social welfare, and in our foreign affairs globally. 

And furthermore, for those who have taken my Afterlife series classes…

That’s why the “30th November” message was shared in 2014. 

It was a marker in the spiritual history of humankind to make clear that key spiritual leaders involved in the world 🌎 for the past 10,000 years had decided that they too recognized that “over helping” causes suffering. 

That by demanding obedience from their followers, they inadvertently caused those devout followers to be more susceptible to being bullied by others — others who didn’t have the kind motives that these spiritual leaders had. 

In effect, by demanding spiritual obedience, these leaders had unwittingly trained their followers to become more compliant, more passive. And — unfortunately — more vulnerable to being taken advantage of by selfish and narcissistic people in the world. 

Ironically, the more devout the follower, the more obedient they were — yet the more vulnerable they became to mistreatment by others. 

In addition, this approach squelched the followers’ ability to exercise their Free Will. And the long-term impact of that — becoming increasingly less effective at making good life choices — has caused tremendous conflict and suffering in billions of people worldwide over the millennia. 

So, for all those reasons, as was stated in the 30th November messages, it was decided that no longer would any of them continue to demand unwavering obedience or subservience for any reason, spiritual or otherwise. And instead, they’re encouraging us to see them all as our friends. Not our gurus, divine masters or gods. 

More parity. Less hierarchy. 

An encouragement to begin to view life more as an eternal democracy. 

And I would add that since they have laid down the marker about this in 2014 to all of us here on Earth, these spiritual leaders have turned much of their attention towards educating and spreading these messages among all those on the Other Side. And we’ve been told that it’s an even more challenging task there, given the engrained beliefs in the value of hierarchies. 

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“The Power of Love”

“The Power of Love”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

I teach people how to overcome their fears. About death. And about uncertainty. 

Along with overcoming those fears comes greater self-acceptance. More love. Love for oneself. 

Jesus taught that “love” means “accepting the other person for who they are, not who you wish they were, or think they should be.” But can we apply that same principle to ourselves? I think so. 

Accepting ourselves for who we each are — including all our quirks and imperfections. Not who we wish we were. I think we each can apply that individually. Each in our own unique personal ways. 

That is actual self-acceptance. True self-love. 

As you may also know, I work in the field of Afterlife education as well. I often hear stories of people who have had NDEs, “near-death experiences.” And a common theme in their recounting of their experiences is that they feel “more love than they’ve ever felt before.”

I have sometimes wondered how much that intense perceived degree of love, i.e., acceptance, is directly related to the lack of love they have felt from others — their parents, spouses, friends — before their NDE. Or even lack of self-acceptance within themselves. 

So I thought about the “power of love” in the context of NDEs. 

What if one was so loved and accepted — most importantly by one’s own self — before one had the NDE? Could we imagine what that experience of the Afterlife might be like then?

Perhaps it would be less shocking. Due to less contrast.

Coming already from a “place” or a state of being of profound self-acceptance perhaps the transition would simply be a smooth and easy one. Without the gasps and the wows that often accompany such typically high contrast experiences. 

And what would that have meant if that were to hypothetically take place?

It would have meant that that person had “turned within” consistently and over a long enough period to become so comfortable with herself that she was pretty much in a state of self-acceptances, or love, most of the time. 

And what would that give rise to?

A very happy life. A fulfilled life. Now. Here on Earth 🌎. Long before transitioning to the Other Side. 

So why wait? Why not start now?

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Non-Duality Theory Creates Suffering”

“Non-Duality Theory Creates Suffering”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

Some notes…

Oneness and Non-Duality = in conflict with Importance of Boundaries 

Besides the emotional attraction to the experience of unity, the non-duality theory attracts minds (on Earth 🌎 and on the Other Side) who have often experienced trauma or loneliness in life. 

But really it’s a combination of being disconnected within themselves and of misunderstanding the genuine experience of connection. 

Disconnected with their own minds — with both their conscious mind as well as the need for making their subconscious more conscious — i.e., disconnected from the actuality of the vastness of their individual mind. The misperceived belief that their individual mind is very limited. 

Misunderstanding of the experience of connection with oneself and with our external reality. 

Bottom line:

Connection is not “oneness.”
Duality exists. 
Duality is not bad. 

Experiencer and experience = duality

Experiencer does not in reality ever merge with the experience.
“Feeling connected” is not “losing one’s identity.”
One still retains one’s ability to experience. 

“Blanking out” or “unawareness” during meditation is a sign of being overwhelmed. A sign that fear (or physical exhaustion) has overtaken one’s sense of self. 
It is the mind passing out. It’s not connection. It’s “disconnection.”

Importance of Boundaries:

Belief in the misunderstanding of non-duality can lead to suffering. 
Not establishing and seeing boundaries as a good and appropriate thing in daily life is critical. 
Otherwise can lead to getting hurt emotionally, physically or psychically. 

Can lead to “letting in” others into one’s life who are not healthy and not supportive of our well being. 

More and “all” connection with everyone and everything in the universe is not a sign of increased self-awareness. On the contrary, it’s a sign of naïveté. Of a mind who has not learned the necessity of drawing lines, establishing boundaries. This is one of the key skills of intellectual discrimination. And that starts from within by understanding our own uniqueness in the universe. Rejoicing and embracing that uniqueness. And exercising it when appropriate in our daily lives. 

Not confusing that need to establish boundaries with disconnecting from others. Or from “not loving others”!

Love ❤️ is “accepting the other person for who they are — not who we wish they would be.” It is not “losing oneself in the other” — that is actually impossible. And should not be confused with the “feeling” of connection with another person, which is real and genuine. 

Understanding those key differences and distinctions is critical for increasing the likelihood that we may live life freer from self-imposed suffering. 

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“For Guys Only”

“For Guys Only”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

I’m a guy.

I’ve played organized competitive sports, led large business organizations, and scuba dived at 115 feet deep in the ocean.

But those of you who measure “being a guy” only in those terms are missing out. Not only that, but you could be setting a bad example for your young sons, the men of the future.

Too many guys measure their “maleness” by how macho they are. By how much testosterone they can exude to the world — typically to the world of women. How much of that male hormone they can spill onto the widest variety of playing fields — in business, sports, and yes at home — any number of what they view as the “battlefields” of life.

Ok, I don’t want to leave out my LBGTQ friends from this discussion because yes, those guys are guilty of limiting themselves in this way too. They can be equally guilty of excessive “peacock feather rattling.” And yes, they too can be fathers to straight or gay sons. So, being as inclusive as possible....

We guys — all of us — need to grow up. 
We need to emotionally mature beyond puberty. 

Because not only are we potentially missing out, but we’re also creating a higher likelihood of bad hurtful behavior towards others. And that includes others whom we may care about. 

What are we “missing out” on? 

How about having a mutually loving, emotionally rich relationship with our spouse or girlfriend? Or with our children? Or our grandchildren? (Yes, grandpa, it’s never too late to start moving beyond your puberty-based fears and limitations...)

By continuing to act in that emotionally “me-oriented” state we embraced as 16 year olds, we limit ourselves to women (or men) who will “put up with us.” As opposed to partners who actually want to be with us, and feel like they can thrive with us. Not in spite of us. 

And worse. That juvenile narcissistic behavior, when played out by a 40, 50, or 60 year old man — or god forbid, if he is a father — risks hurting others through his bullying, of his spouse or children. 

And then, what a tragic example of how to “be a man” such a dad demonstrates to his sons. 

Yet, even so, the “I am who I am because of my father” is a poor excuse in my book. We each can change. If we want to. If we are strong enough. 

That’s strength. True strength. 

When you are met with adversity — in this case maybe a lousy role model — and you nevertheless overcome the bullying behavior of your father and become a truly strong, emotionally caring human being. A better father than what you had. 

That is a demonstration of true strength.

So guys, no matter how young or old you are, or where you live in the world 🌎, think about this. 

Honestly ask yourself if this describes you. And know that you can do something about it, if you want. You can change. You can grow. You can be a better person — you can let your testosterone flow and be a caring guy too. You can be “stronger” in a real way — not just a showy peacock way.

And you might find that your girlfriend, spouse, or kids may love you more for it. 

That’s the benefit of being a real man. Not just a man respected by men.
But a man respected by women.
And children. 

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“The Plague of the Importance of Being Important”

“The Plague of the Importance of Being Important”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

We often hear in these times of the COVID-19 pandemic the use of the word “plague.”

What does the word “plague” mean?

Webster’s Dictionary says: “a disastrous affliction, an epidemic disease causing a high rate of mortality.”

I want to take this idea a bit further, outside of the COVID-19 context. Perhaps shine a light on a bigger problem, an underlying problem, maybe even a cause of the “psychological plague” that has infected the human race for millennia and continues to wreak havoc among us today. 

The “Importance of Being Important”

First let’s start by briefly addressing some commonly discussed psycho-social ills that we all have seen that afflict our species. 

I think most of us would agree that bias exists in our world 🌎. “Bias” means preference. Plain and simple. It comes in many forms. 

Height. Weight. Economic. Health. Race. Ethnicity. Age. Gender. Sexual preference. Nationality. City. Sports team. University. Company. Diet. Eye color. Hair color. Baldness. Vocal. Quiet. The list could go on. 

You get the idea. We are all biased about something. 

And it is not inherently a bad thing. I would argue it is necessary to make assessments. To discriminate in life. That’s what “discrimination” used to mean before the U.S. culture labeled that word negatively in the 1960’s when it became almost exclusively associated with racial prejudice. 

So bias is real. Necessary. And not bad by itself. 

What is bad is when we ignore our biases. When we become unconscious to them. And we act indiscriminately without forethought. And when those biases become hurtful to others. 

When I was in elementary school, the “mentally challenged” kids were intermingled with all of us in gym class and during recess, i.e., play time before school and after lunch. Some kids would tease them and make fun of them. I would intervene. Tell those kids to stop ✋ 🛑 To leave them alone. And I would talk with the challenged kids sometimes — publicly and privately — so they knew they were also “like us” and not just different due to their mental abilities. 

It is not that I didn’t see those kids as different mentally. Of course I did. And it’s not that I didn’t prefer to play with my other friends. Of course I did. But I drew the line when I saw hurtful behavior directed at them. I did not allow that in my presence. 

We cannot control the thinking and actions of others. But when in the presence of bad behavior, we can act. Or not. That is a choice we each have. 

So bias is real. But how we handle our biases is up to each of us. 

Another example from my youth… When I lived and worked teaching meditation in Asia in my 20’s, I many times observed racial bias. I had previously personally experienced it growing up in a Caucasian dominated Boston suburb. But in Asia it was different. 

I observed Caucasians being treated negatively by the dominant Asian culture. This was a brand new experience for me. And it was very apparent — not hidden at all — that it was because the Caucasians were racially not Asian. 

It was apparent both in the disdain, the sometimes outright visible look of contempt on the face of the Chinese or Koreans I lived among when they interacted with some American, British or Australian Caucasians. And it was verbally apparent in what they called them — translation from Chinese — “white foreign devils.”

Now, please understand I’m not here to get into a political colonialism discussion. That’s not my point. Because I have also witnessed many instances of justified anger by the colonized cultures. 

So what’s my point?

The tribalism that exists worldwide.
The separation that humans do when they are in groups. 

And why do we do it in a way that is sometimes hurtful to others?

I think we are all — yes ALL of us — without exception — sometimes afflicted with the “Importance of Being Important.”

And we use it — usually unconsciously — when we feel tired, disempowered or insecure. 

Why? 

Because it makes us feel good. 

Why did some kids bully the mentally challenged kids at the Cleveland Elementary School in Norwood, Massachusetts in 1960? Because it made them feel powerful, “better than someone else.” 

Why did the Chinese shop owners snicker behind the backs of the much wealthier (arguably more powerful) Caucasian women and men, and talk about them negatively in Cantonese so they wouldn’t understand? Because it made them feel more powerful, “better than someone else.”

At least temporarily. 

And so we go on. And on. And on. We repeat that behavior for generations and generations. We teach our children by our behavior and they in turn teach theirs. 

And these scenarios are repeated worldwide hundreds of millions of times a day.
Every day. Every year. 

In every culture. 

We as a human race need to stop 🛑 and think about this tribal mentality — the “group think” of manipulating various biases towards others to make us feel good. Think and reflect on this behavioral pattern we have created for ourselves worldwide 🌎 for the past 400,000 years. 

And especially when that tribalism leads to cruelty. 

“Cruelty” is when someone gets pleasure out of hurting another person. 

And why do they act cruelly? For the same reason we discussed above. Because they feel weaker, more insecure, less powerful at that moment. And by demeaning someone else, we make them feel worse so we feel better. 

It could be caused simply by fatigue or low blood sugar — I have had moments like that when I snapped at my kids unnecessarily when I was exhausted or too hungry from driving too long without a break. We have all had moments like that. 

Or in a more complicated psychological profile, the insecurity could be deeper and less transient, perhaps caused by the powerlessness and lack of love ❤️ shown a child by a father especially in the child’s formative years. Even maybe resulting in such a lack of sensibility for the needs of others that the “Importance of Being Important” and its cruelty component causes sociopathic behavior in the  child later as an adult. 

These general principles of the “Importance of Being Important” and “Transcending Cruelty” were introduced in the 30thNovember talk I organized in 2014. And they are topics that the spiritual group, the Movement, that some of you may have heard me discuss in my classes, has encouraged us to discuss further. 

In conclusion — and to be continued — because this is a long term discussion that I hope will continue among us for millennia 🌎 worldwide — bias or preference is real. I would argue it is neutral, neither positive nor negative. But when our biases become exercised in a hurtful way — perhaps instigated by our need for the “Importance of Being Important” to satiate our insecurities — then that cruel behavior needs to be curbed by providing the means to develop more inner security.

While the list of experts to provide more security in the economic, political, educational, gender equality, and other arenas is long, I am not one of them. So instead, I focus on my work helping people in my areas of expertise — how to “turn within” and strengthen ourselves from the inside out, and Overcoming the Fear of Death. 

I ask you to look at your areas of expertise — whether professionally or avocationally — and apply your energies as you see fit to helping others develop greater inner security. In that way, you will be a contributor and solution provider to what I would argue is the most debilitating plague of the human race — the Importance of Being Important.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Earth — a Planet of False Hopes, Dreams & Expectations”

Earth — a Planet of False Hopes, Dreams & Expectations 

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

We live on a planet 🌏 inhabited by humans who are addicted to being inspired. But who have little interest in taking the actions required to fulfill those hopes, dreams and expectations that inspire them. 

Why is that?

I wonder if it’s because we are so enamored by those who are enthusiastic about (whatever)(fill in the blank...religion, politics, education, finance, family, whatever) that we stop 🛑 there at the sight of enthusiasm. And promptly follow whatever has initiated that enthusiasm.

Why? Because it feels good! 

Right? It “feels good” to be enthusiastic. To be inspired. 

But is it wise to stop 🛑 there and just follow the enthusiastic throng?

I think not. 

There are many examples throughout history where the enthusiastic throng was proven to be on the “wrong side of history” — the 1919 Treaty of Versailles that arguably led to the creation of Nazi Germany, 1930’s Germany and its nationalist fervor, religious oppression of the Holy Inquisition in the 1200’s, Mao and his Cultural Revolution that killed 3 million and persecuted 100 million, and slavery for millennia as a means of maximizing business profit. 

What they all have in common was that the masses — or enough of the masses in those regions — were enthusiastic in their support of whatever. 

What was lacking was any forethought about what seen and unintended consequences would likely result from those actions. 

What was missing?

Rational thought. 

The problem with rational thinking is that it’s not “sexy.” It doesn’t give you an immediate thrill. It doesn’t make you tingle like “enthusiasm” does — even if the enthusiasm is misplaced. 

But I have found that thinking rationally — asking “does it make sense?” — has brought about more long lasting happiness for me than merely following the latest hope, dream or expectation driving the most recent enthusiastic reaction from the pedestrian on the street. 

Sure, it’s not as flashy and tingly. But my happiness — my long term happiness and inner contentment — is worth more to me than some fleeting “feel-good” experience based on some unfounded hope, dream or expectation created by someone or some group I don’t know. 

And while we’re on the subject of rationally assessing our decision making and sources of enthusiasm and inspiration, let’s address some of our friends on the Other Side. 

Angels — especially the ones who have charged themselves with looking after 🌍 Earth’s inhabitants —  are doing no one but themselves a favor by promoting enthusiastic thinking about the false belief that the world 🌎 will be enlightened overnight, that some “Renaissance” is coming to Earth “soon....”

First, this popular spiritual myth violates the principle of Free Will.
No angel or “god” can force someone to be loving if they don’t want to be. 

And second, do the psychics, mediums and spiritual teachers channeling this message from their sources on the Other Side not read history? Do they not know that angels and others over “there” have been saying this for millennia?

And...uh-hem. Has the world 🌎 in 2020 become that “enlightened” planet after all those thousands of years of similar “predictions”?

Do those claims even pass the “common sense” test?

I am here to inspire. But I choose to inspire through realism and idealism. Not merely through the latter alone. 

Because my experience over the past several thousand years watching so many — who have been enthusiastic and inspired, only to later become dejected and depressed when they don’t see the turnaround as quickly as their hopes, dreams and expectations had led them to believe — has taught me we need to take the “long view” on helping our fellowship of humankind to progress and develop. 

Let’s assume humans have been on Earth 🌍 for 400,000 years, give or take a few years. We have definitely progressed and become less cruel. But look how long it has taken for that limited but noticeable degree of progress to take hold in our cultures worldwide. And even then, there is still so much more to be done in reducing cruelty on our planet. 

So can we and should we continue to work as helpers of our planet — on cruelty, climate change, inequality — yes, absolutely. But we need to take the long view and not be discouraged if the successes we hope for do not materialize as fast or in the manner we expect. 

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Love Is Not A Feeling”

“Love Is Not A Feeling”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

Most people think “love” is simply an emotion. A feeling. That’s what most people are taught. 

Most people teach that love ❤️ is “feeling good,” or “expressing good feelings” about others. A feeling that comes and goes.

I want to suggest a different perspective on this often referenced concept. 

I’m not suggesting that the above definition the way most people think of love is incorrect. But I am definitely stating that it is limited. 

Incomplete. 

And that incompleteness I think leads to disempowering the potential effects of this powerful idea. And worse, arguably sometimes creates suffering in our lives...in the name of “love.”

Love ❤️ 

I choose to define love in the way one of my early teachers taught us to love. Jesus said,

“Love is accepting the other person for who they are.
Not who you wish they were.”

That is not simply a feeling. Not a fleeting emotional response. It is definitely not merely a “feel good” feeling. And, it is not conditional. 

It is an act. An act that can become a state of being. 

What was he teaching us?

He was saying that, sure, we may all have expectations about what we desire in another person. How we hope they would interact and behave with us. How they might treat us. 

But that is not ultimately up to us. It is up to them. It is molded and shaped by who they are, what their personality is, combined with choices they make in how they interact with each of us. 

We do not control that. They do. 

And our acceptance of who they are frees them up to be themselves with us in a way that makes them feel welcomed by us. Not judged by us. 

And that increases the likelihood (nothing is ever guaranteed) that they may make choices in dealing with us that are in alignment with our needs at that moment. 

That is — provided their intentions are similar to ours. And if we each desire a mutually beneficial outcome. Where we both can be happy and fulfilled. 

But what if their expression — how they behave towards us —  is not in alignment with what we want or need? What if it is hurtful? This is where most people’s understanding of “love” falls apart. This is the crucial missing (or forgotten) component of that ancient teaching. 

We walk away.

That was and still is the advice. 

We see the other person “for who they are, not who we wish they were....” And if what we see is harmful to us mentally, emotionally, or physically, we need to separate from them. Walk away. 

And that is not only acknowledging who they are (in that 2,000-year-old definition of “love”), but it is also expressing our love for ourselves — “self love.”

That is love and the expression of love the way I was taught to frame it many years ago. 

I have sometimes been successful in the application of that approach to love. And other times not so much. 

None of us is perfect. So we need to be not so self critical, not so harsh in our self assessments. But we do need to aspire and attempt to move in the direction of this type of love: “as acceptance.”

That is: 
If we want to truly pursue a sustainable level of contentment and happiness in our lives. 

So today, as best I can, I continue to aspire to live that degree of love that I witnessed on a daily basis — for those three years 2,000 years ago.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

How The Belief “It Was Meant To Be” Causes Suffering

How The Belief “It Was Meant To Be” Causes Suffering

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert & Meditation Teacher

First, understand. It’s a belief.
Not a fact.
It’s a belief based on a desire, not based on factual reality. 

And if you want to believe it, it’s ok with me. I’m not here to change people’s religious beliefs. 

But if you want clarity in your understanding about reality and the universe, consider the following points. Then afterwards, perhaps reconsider whether your thinking that “everything happens for a reason” is a belief based on reality or wishful thinking. 

“Everything”

First, when someone says “everything happens for a reason,” the key word is “everything.” That means there are no exceptions. It is an absolute statement. 

“Everything” means every thing. Every occurrence. Every single thing that has happened, is happening, or will ever happen. 

They mean by saying that, that everything is predestined. Everything in the universe that has already happened was already known (by somebody) that it would happen, and that somebody knows what will happen before it happens. 

This concept or theory demands that Free Will, personal choice, does not and cannot exist in the universe. 

Free Will and Predestination cannot coexist. 

People who say they both exist are simply stating an illogical belief. It’s like saying, “I am sort of pregnant.” No. You either are. Or you are not. It is a binary fact. One or the other. You cannot be both pregnant. And not. 

So again. If someone wants to believe that is true, they can. But it’s not based in fact. 

The same thing applies to those who say Free Will and Predestination both exist.

The all-knowing somebody

What about this somebody who supposedly knows everything? And can predict everything?

Is that logical? Does that make sense?

This mind would have to be omniscient, all-knowing. And this has been the belief of many religions for millennia. 

First, is it logical? Second, why does this belief exist?

It is a logical impossibility. Because “knowing everything” means every thing. Without exception. And therefore, knowing everything means that this mind must also know what it is like to “know nothing.” Because “knowing nothing” is a subset of “knowing everything.”

That is impossible. No mind can — at the same moment — know everything and know nothing. 

certainty

But why do we create these illogical beliefs? Because we want certainty. And we would rather have the illusion of certainty than the reality of not having “an answer” — a catch-all answer. 

Sort of a “Get out of Jail” card in the board game Monopoly. A free “hall pass” in high school. 

But life isn’t a board game. 

It’s a journey where Free Will operates. And not just your Free Will. But also the Free Will of quadrillions of other minds on Earth 🌍. Which are all influencing each other in ways that we cannot predict or know absolutely. 

I get it. 

When something terrible happens to us, we want an explanation. We want a reason. We think that will make us feel better. And it may.

Temporarily. 

Until something happens that demonstrates that Free Will really does exist and that Predestination does not. (Remember they are each absolutes. No exceptions can apply.)

inconsistency & suffering

But what do most of us do? We cherry 🍒 pick. 

We say, “See, look at this wonderful thing that just happened! It was meant to be!”

And we ignore the examples that show us that not everything is predictable. Not everything is within our control. We selectively choose our evidence to support our belief.

But what happens when we take this inconsistent approach to our thinking?

We leave room for discord within ourselves. Logical and emotional discord. Suffering. 

Our mind wants to understand. And our emotions want to feel good. We want to be happy. 

The problem is the desire for immediacy. We are impatient. We want “drive-thru” spirituality. We want it quickly. We want it now. And we don’t want to do much — if anything — to get it. Just believe and move on.

happiness

There is nothing amiss with the desire to be happy. I think it’s why we are all here. Both on Earth 🌍 now and on the Other Side later. And wherever we choose to go afterwards. And so on. It is all about the pursuit of happiness to me. 

And I have found that — while it does take some additional work — logically thinking about life and the universe has brought me consistency in my thinking and thus emotional stability in my level of contentment. And thus my state of happiness.

Regardless of where the experience falls on the positive-neutral-negative spectrum. 

And yes. Even amidst times of extreme sadness.

Summary

So instead of trying to explain everything that happens in life by squeezing a square peg into a round hole, I suggest we accept life in the myriad of ways it presents to us. Enjoy those who are with us for as long as they are with us here. And know that nothing and no one can or is controlling everything. 

That we are each Free Will thinking minds who are influencing each other — and who are being influenced by quadrillions of other minds at any given moment. So, yes, while probabilities do exist — nothing can ever be predicted with absolute certainty. 

We each need to “turn within,” relax, and gain a sense of inner security and confidence that replaces our seeming need for certainty with a desire to explore and experience the innumerable ways to appreciate the infinite wonder of life’s eternal journey.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“We Are Not Disconnected From Each Other…”

“We Are Not Disconnected From Each Other…”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert & Meditation Teacher

We are not disconnected from each other. We are disconnected from ourselves. 

The most common misstatement in the spiritual world 🌎 — a world that has too often become an “echo chamber” of dissonant thinking — is that “We are all one.”

The problem with that “external” focus on connecting with others instead of “turning within” and connecting with ourselves is that it continues the illusion and misguided belief that if we only can find more ways to connect outside of ourselves, then we will have world 🌎 peace. 

Peace on Earth.

More rallies, more town halls, more sit-downs to discuss our differences.

Not true. 

We need to ask ourselves — what is our TRUE desire?

It is inner peace. Right? 

Yet, ironically, by continually seeking it outside of ourselves, we push ourselves FURTHER away from fulfilling our true desire.

This “seeking peace by connecting with others” is yet another example of — once again — being fooled by our near-constant overemphasis on the “XYZ” side of the “Conscious of XYZ” model. That’s the phrase I long ago borrowed from my good friend Charlie to illustrate our infatuation with the external over the internal. 

If we don’t each deal with our inner discord, then we will simply bring that discord to the rallies and town halls, and end up expressing that lack of inner peace in a myriad of externalized frustrations. We see it played out all the time.

And many spiritual seekers and their teachers are just as guilty of being seduced by the external. They may use less obvious terminology — not talking about “financial” materialism, for example, but materialism can be “spiritual” as well.

You might ask: “Who cares? Why does this matter?”

Because it causes people to stray further from that “peace” that they so desire in the first place.

Focusing on the XYZ’s lures us to be ever more distracted by trucks, flashy cars, big houses, clothes — and yes, even NDEs, STEs and other spiritual experiences that often elicit the “Wow, Gee whiz” reactions from those who have not had them. All of these are external in the way I’m defining it. They are all identifiable, concrete XYZ’s. 

External to what?

External to our essential individual selves — our minds. Each of our minds which are unique from each other. (Note: I use “mind” since it is non-cultural and non-religious, but you could substitute “soul, spirit, consciousness” as a synonym.)

That above sample of XYZ’s are all simply experiences that someone may have. And experiences are fleeting — they come and go. So, “hitching your wagon” to fleeting experiences means by definition that your experience of happiness and peace will itself always be elusive — and fleeting.

And this leads to suffering. That’s what unfulfilled desires are — unhappiness. Lack of peace.

Oneness or “One-mess”?

So, back to the idea of “connecting with all of humankind” as a means to happiness and world peace.

People think they are doing something wrong when they don’t “feel connected” to all humankind. So they jump to the incorrect conclusion that the solution is to “experience that we are all one.”

First, let’s understand that there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking connection with others — as long as we first “turn within” to connect with ourselves before we seek happiness and peace outside. In fact, I think “connection” with others can be a source of great happiness in life.

However, “connection” is not the same thing as “oneness with all other beings.” Connection does not mean “sameness.” It does not mean “we merge” with all other beings.

This is a common misstatement in today’s “pop spiritual culture.”

So we can travel as smoothly as possible along our respective paths to happiness, we need to be cognizant of the misplaced application of mathematical probability theories — like Quantum Mechanics — that have been contorted into allegedly “proving” this “oneness” theory.

Just because someone with a science background and an MD or PhD says it is so, does not make it accurate. Ask an actual expert in Quantum Mechanics if it is an accurate application of their theory. Ask if the theory was meant to explain physical reality. (Hint: it was not.)

Religious apologists abound on 🌎 Earth — and on the Other Side. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a religious apologist, but they should be honest and state that they are, that they — like religious preachers — have a belief that they are trying to persuade others to follow. Simply pointing to one’s doctorate status and calling oneself a scientist while ignoring the consistent use of rational, logical thinking does not make the analysis “scientific.”

The theory of oneness is a religious belief. Not a scientific fact. 

Here’s where it comes from. 

Many thousands of years ago, a relatively small group of, what we today would call, “spiritual leaders” each started having profound experiences of “connection” within themselves and extending outward feeling as if connected to all living and non-living things. This genuine experience was discussed over many lifetimes by these spiritual adepts and they quickly became a “self-referential” group, one where they started telling each other interpretations of that experience and then started postulating about what that experience meant in the larger scheme of things — in particular, human development. Thus was born the theory of “enlightenment” — the idea that one might eventually develop to a point where one would “merge” with something they called “the Absolute” or “oneness,” a concept where the individual would lose his or her individuality. 

The problem is that after 10,000 years of believing in this theory, not one of those spiritual leaders ever experienced the “merging” they had theorized about. So, they started rethinking the theory.

And now, they have relinquished that theory, and are convinced that the new theory of “life as a continual journey of making choices” makes more sense. Further, the making of choices (Free Will), they are pointing out, is something we each have control over. And they are encouraging us to make more consistent choices that align with bringing each of us more happiness.

So, even that early group of spiritual leaders has decided to jettison the concept of “oneness.”

Jesus Reminds Us

What did Jesus mean when he said, “Seek the Kingdom of Heaven Within”?

He was reminding us to “turn within” — that is my 21st century translation of what I remember him saying. To him “prayer” was not asking for things. It was a simple yet profound means of “turning within” and connecting with oneself — that “Kingdom” of peace within each of us. Many of you do this daily — as you meditate with yourself, allowing your mind to experience itself, its essential nature within.

That is what he taught. He espoused “knowing oneself” in that internal way as a means to “bringing Heaven on Earth” — translation, to uncover and draw out from inside us that profound inner peace so that we can enjoy our lives here on Earth as much as we each can.

He was not saying to “deny” the external world. He was saying to enjoy it. To enjoy it with others. And to enjoy it maximally by turning within first. 

Buddha Reminds Us

This is what Buddha meant when he said the world 🌎 is an illusion. 

He was advising us to “turn within” first. Not to be seduced by the wonder and beauty of the external world at the expense of one’s inner journey. One’s self-knowing. 

But he was not saying to divorce oneself from the world. Just to go inside first. Connect with oneself — the true seat of happiness within. Not to merely get caught up in the external world. 

That would be the path of illusion, according to him.

Not New

So, these are not new ideas. They are ancient.

But I think it bears reminding from time to time through the millennia. Because for various reasons — primarily fear and desperation — I have seen us as a species get caught up and seduced sometimes by the purveyors of the “quick fix” who promise us salvation and “world peace” without each of us having to do anything on the inside.

Merely by following a belief system — whether it makes logical sense or not — an implicit or explicit promise is made to us that never materializes.

My suggestion is instead to follow your own path. Do what makes sense to you. And connect with your own inner strength within. 

Then you will bring a stronger sense of self — a more self-actualized, nuanced and powerful sense of your being — when and if you choose to connect with others and help bring greater harmony to the world we live in.

You are your best — and ultimately — only teacher.
Take yourself to class inside daily.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Angels & Fear”

“Angels & Fear”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

There seems to be increased activity among some angels on the “Other Side” whenever a perceived crisis happens on planet Earth. Whether that be a World War, the end of a millennium or even the end of a century — 1699, 1799, 1899, 1999.

Now, it seems to be COVID-19, which should not be a surprise. After all, it is a global pandemic affecting all humans on planet Earth.

For those who pay attention to such things historically, they tend to be “ripe” for concocting messages around those events which supposedly predict the “end of life on planet Earth” (the same thing happened when AIDS was first identified in the 1980’s).

Impending apocalypses are routinely aimed at provoking fear among those humans prone to being fearful — which unfortunately is most of us! 

Now, 7.6 billion people.

And my observation is that many tend to use that hotbed of fear to promote ideas that are often self-serving. That includes minds on this side AND minds on the Other Side — yes, including some angels.

By the way, do not assume any being on the Other Side knows more than you do. Not necessarily so. Some may. But the fact they are a “light being” is meaningless when assessing that mind’s wisdom — after all when we die, it becomes clear we ALL are light beings. Think about that.

As many of you know, my work over the millennia and now again this lifetime is to reduce fear in the world, especially but not limited to the fear of death. That said, my goal is always to help people live their lives more fully in the present, regardless of their beliefs about death or dying — cultural or religious — and whether they believe in an “afterlife” (the Other Side), or not.

In addition, I take a rational approach toward looking at life. And that includes a rational, logical approach towards interpreting any experience we may have. That rational way of analyzing life has served me well in developing understandings that are cognitively consistent, not cognitively dissonant. And that has been the foundation of my happiness over the millennia.

So, I have a few thoughts about the current messages that seem to be floating about the social media airwaves on 2020 planet Earth.

Messages in Dreams or Other Visions

There seems to be an uptick in messages purportedly from the Other Side that portend a dire, almost cataclysmic future in the coming months and years. Keep in mind — these messages ALWAYS seems to happen when there are crises on Earth.

Such messages may come in the form of lucid dreams, visions or messages through psychics or other mediums. They can be visual, audio, telepathic or in some other form of communication, e.g., symbology, etc.

As I mentioned, I had messages from the Other Side come to me in 1986 about how quickly humankind needed to move more positively, otherwise…. For some reason, an inherent threat always seems to be included in that sort of fear message. 

And of course, the messages always have enough “general truth” in them to be considered accurate in hindsight, even if their overall specific message ends up being false (“mass chaos with foreign armies in the streets,” etc.).

Sources of the Messages

These messages from the Other Side can come from various sources. 

All of these sources are technically “light beings” because everyone and everything is made of light — in fact, that is true whether we are talking about on this side OR the Other Side. Sometimes we may perceive it in this way. Other times we may not. However, fundamentally, we are all “light beings.”

I think confusion often arises when someone experiences a communication from the Other Side, and forgets that fact.

Sometimes they are from dead relatives or loved ones, and they usually tell us so — and most importantly, we recognize their personalities so we have some external evidence of who they say they are even though they may appear to us as a “light being” — perhaps even in a bodily form we may recognize or simply an orb of light, etc.

Other times they may come from “light beings” we don’t personally recognize. This is when people typically jump to conclusions.

The most common interpretation of these “light being” experiences is almost always filtered through that person’s religious or cultural beliefs. So if someone is a believer in God, they typically interpret that “being” as “God.” That is the most common default. 

Sometimes they may instead call the “light being” a spiritual being they worship or respect — Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, or Archangel Michael, or perhaps some other entity they are familiar with.

And finally, if that person has already had some Other Side communications with a dead loved one or friend whose personality they recognize from “this side” prior to their physical biological death, then they may know that the “light being” is most likely that old friend.

You get the idea.

The person filters it through their own mind and bases it on their past experience having known the person, or if not, then on their belief system.

So, what’s my point?

When you hear a psychic or preacher say the message they are telling you is from “God,” “an archangel,” or whomever, don’t blindly believe them. Even if they ardently believe it themselves. 

Belief does not mean truth.

Content of the Messages — Predictions?

Whenever you hear someone say they are “prophesying” something, or that they can foretell the future, BE SUSPECT of everything they are saying.

Why?

Because anything that smells of “predicting the future” violates the fundamental universal principle of Free Will. 

Free Will means we have personal choices we each can make. And because of the 7.6 billion human minds on Earth (and that’s not counting all the dogs, cats, horses, etc. who also influence our choices), no “future” can be predicted with certainty. 

If anyone claims to predict the future with certainty, you know they either 1) don’t know what they are talking about, or 2) have a hidden agenda and are trying to fool you into following them. Either way flags someone not to be trusted.

The future is based on the continual present. And our present is obviously based on many choices that not only each of us is making, but also all of the other free-will thinking minds on Earth.

We each INFLUENCE each other. We do NOT control each other. But we do affect each other’s choices. Therefore, nothing can be predicted with certainty.

Yes, we can predict with some level of “probability” — the likelihood that something will happen. But never with certainty.

So, can someone get a message from this side or the Other Side saying that things on Earth may get messy in the coming months. Sure! But it would not take a rocket scientist — never mind a psychic or someone on the Other Side — to tell us that. The probabilities of it getting messy are obvious.

Do not buy into the fear inherent in that message.

That is what they WANT you to do.

Why, you may ask?

Angels’ Agenda

First, for those of you who don’t know, I started having communications with the Other Side in 1986 — it happened spontaneously when I was meditating, which is why I am a strong proponent of meditating if you want to open up to your own mind’s vastness as well as the vastness of the rest of the universe. 

The initial communications were with angels and archangels. I long ago in the late 1980’s found that they were more interested in my promoting their angelic beliefs on Earth than helping me with my own personal self-realization, so we each moved on. But I learned a lot from those two years communicating with them.

Why would angels want to convince humans that the Earth is in danger?

My experience is they have minds just like we all do. And as such, they have desires and emotions — hopes, dreams and expectations. Sometimes that comes with an agenda. Maybe even a hidden agenda.

First of all, understand that the angelic realm is not monolithic. That means they — like us — do not all believe the same thing. For example, the cadré of angels who hang out with me now are more “independent thinkers” — they tend to have their own ideas and beliefs about things, and are not followers of the masses of angels. 

Did I say “masses” of angels? Yes.

Just like on Earth, there are “the masses.” What does that term mean?

Well, think about it. It’s no different than here where you and I live — on Earth. There is the way most of the human population live and think, and we call that “the masses.” On the Other Side where angels live, there are also the masses, where most of them think and believe more or less similarly.

I would say most of the angels are there to help humans move forward in a more positive direction. However, might there be other angels who have less altruistic intentions?

Sure. Like I said, they are minds just like we are.

Why Would an Angel Promote Fear?

Let’s say an angel was promoting a fearful message of “the future” through a preacher or psychic. What would be the self-interest for an angel to do that?

Followers. 

Followers to add to their flock on the Other Side. If you have that as your goal, why not start recruiting those potential followers while they are still on Earth? And while you are at it, why not create dependence on those angels as the “spiritual leaders” who can guide you away from the fearful situation they are predicting.

That is the hallmark of any religious cult — develop dependency among the followers on the leader or leadership. Suppress independent thinking. But make it all about “helping” the followers move along their spiritual path.

Understand that historically, this is exactly what Paul, also known as “Saul of Tarsus,” did 2,000 years ago after Jesus was murdered. 

Religious historians who have read Paul’s original letters in Greek all agree that Paul was a promoter of the apocalypse — he was preaching that the “end of the world” was going to happen “within 6 weeks.” He openly discouraged people from buying property or marrying, and instead told them they should be blindly following him and the belief he created, so they would be rewarded by skipping to the front of the line to get into heaven.

Lots of people signed up. Many still are.

My suggestion: don’t be fooled by that well-worn, commonly-used spiritual recruitment song:

“Be afraid, be afraid.
Follow me, follow me.
I will save you, I will save you.”

What song is that? I don’t know. I just made it up. But you get the idea.

You have seen it sung before over the millennia, I am sure.

Alternative Choice

Instead, how about choosing to “follow yourself”?

Why not trust yourself — do what you can to strengthen yourself by “turning within.” The “inside out” approach.

Don’t always look to others and blindly do whatever they say — do what makes sense to you.

And if you do choose to listen to a psychic or preacher, I suggest that you still ask yourself whether what they say makes sense. Does it pass the “common sense” test?

Moreover, even if you do believe their predictions about dire things happening in your near future, why follow their advice to hoard food and buy guns? Doesn’t that sound like a fear-based approach to life?

“Build a fort. And defend it.” Really?

How about instead inspiring others to find solutions to problems that have existed for hundreds of thousands of years among human beings?

Are you helping solve the problems? Or are you simply adding fuel to the fire of fear?

Judge Their Behavior

My advice is to always judge others by their behavior. Not by what they say they are going to do. But what they actually do.

Ask yourself — is the psychic, spiritual leader or angel who says they are “not promoting fear but are here to help humankind on Earth” walking their talk? Do their words match their actions?

If you find they do not, then find a different source of advice.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Destiny & Losing A Child”

“Destiny & Losing A Child”

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert

First, it is hard if not impossible to make sense out of losing a child to physical death before we, as their parents, die.

Period. That is a given.

However, many parents who lose a child often ask me about “destiny” and whether they each had a role in crafting some sort of plan before birth that may have included the premature death of the child.

Destiny

As for this idea of “destiny,” you will see if you take my Afterlife & Reincarnation Experiences series, that I am a strong proponent of rational, demystified thinking. That yes, in my experience, the universe acts in a logical, understandable way. And that there are some basic fundamental principles that are consistent in our universe — on both this side and the other side.

Free Will

“Free Will” does exist for ALL minds. Without exception.

(NOTE: in my vocabulary, the term “mind” is synonymous with consciousness, soul, spirit, etc.)

So, that means everything is subject to change all the time, given the potential influence of trillions of minds on each of us at any given moment. Yes, some of those minds have a more direct, and others a more indirect influence on each of us, but ALL are influencing us all the time.

And, yes, along with the above principle, before we incarnate, we can have meetings with friends and others on the other side and “make plans” — or what some people call, “soul contracts.” In other words, we can choose to think and plan strategically before we come back in a new life in a new biological body.

That said, not just our own changing of our minds, but more importantly, the Free Will decisions by those trillions of other minds will affect our plans, especially as it/the plan unfolds.

So, yes, constant adjustment can be made, but we NEVER have full control over everything. No one does.

And I would argue no mind does…whether human, animal, angelic, god-like, or whatever other entity you want to label who has a “mind.” Otherwise, you will have created an exception to Free Will, which I think does not exist.

So, if one wants to “label” that pre-birth plan as a sort of “destiny,” fine. I’m ok with that as a loose metaphorical expression or term of art. But not literal. Not literally destiny, in the way most people think of destiny.

Because it is NEVER an absolute “pre-determined” plan or destiny with a guaranteed outcome (that is the way most people define  “destiny”). That would contravene the idea of Free Will completely. You simply cannot have both at the same time (Free Will and Determinism are oil and water). 

Period. 

It is blatantly illogical — if you hear some so-called “spiritual experts” making such statements, it is a red flag. Cognitively dissonant. An attempt at putting a round peg in a square hole. Question it.

I am here to reduce fear in the world.

To do that, sometimes requires undoing a lot of myths and illogical, cognitively dissonant thinking that, in my opinion, in the end can cause increased suffering in the world.

A Construction example

Using a construction project as an example might help illustrate this idea of destiny and Free Will.

Of course, the architect of the building is a key player in the project. You would be the architect of your “life plan.” And the building project plans would be analogous to your choosing to plan your life with others — before any of you incarnated into your physical biological body.

However, so that the analogy more accurately mirrors real life, we need to also inject all the contractors, subcontractors, lawyers, accountants and investors/bankers into the equation (and many more — e.g., their respective wives, husbands, children, aunts and uncles of all of those people, etc.— you get the picture!!). They also ALL have influence on the outcome of the construction project (post-birth).

So, to be thorough and realistic in our thinking and analysis, we also need to consider ALL the Free Will choices and decisions made by each of those many minds and the ripple effect — both direct and indirect — of those probably millions of choices on your original “pre-birth” plan that you, perhaps, may have had with your child who tragically died prematurely,

And so, at the end of the day, with such a complex interconnection and interaction with so many minds’ choices, we might just as well end up having to say that your child’s death is not able to be “figured out” — the unanswerable “Why did it happen?” That there may be no “reason” for it. Maybe you and s/he had a pre-birth agreement, but even if you did, with all the Free Will minds involved (NOT just yours and his/hers), the bottom line is that neither of you ever had full control over the outcome. Life is all about probabilities, not guarantees.

All we can do is act with what we know at the moment. Control and influence what we can. But we cannot foresee and take into account — much less “control” — every possible choice that every possible mind in the universe will make. Otherwise they don’t have Free Will. And they all do.
We all do.

As painful as it is to lose a child, I hope that perspective helps.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Karma Unbundled”

“Karma Unbundled” 

by Kelvin Chin
Life After Life Expert & Meditation Teacher

I will cut to the chase.

The whole notion of “karma” was a made-up theory by a group of Vedic spiritual leaders about 10,000 years ago. (See 30thNovember.com for details of the group). And “dharma” too. I discuss this in greater detail in my Afterlife & Reincarnation Experiences session on “Punishment and Rewards, Hell, Karma, Dharma and Sin...” (See a description of the Series here.)

What was their intent in creating these theories?

Essentially to help move humankind forward by prodding us to act more kindly, with fewer human sacrifices (ideally, none), and to be less lazy in our behavior and actions. That’s the reason in a nutshell. Again, see the above-mentioned 30thNovember talk if you are curious for more in-depth historical details.

But, back to the theory itself…

So, are there consequences to our actions? Is there karma in that sense? Absolutely yes. Everything we do has consequences. 

But there’s no cosmic “accounting system” of “rewards and punishment” given out by some tribunal of godlike judges or by some innate omnipresent energy force (sometimes people will call it “the Universe” or “Mother Nature”).

In other words, karma is not structural. It’s not some independent eternal universal concept — it was a theory made up by a small group of well-meaning spiritual leaders about 10,000 years ago to curb human sacrifices and other extremely hurtful behavior. And then over the millennia, the theory got further conflated and added to by other religious and spiritual leaders who sometimes had less altruistic intent — for more power over others, or to control the behavior of others.

To the point now where billions of people believe they amass “mountains of karma” that may take them millions of lifetimes to get rid of...and that’s only assuming they don’t accumulate any more “bad karma” on a daily basis (which of course they think they are doing)! So they are left bereft, distraught, defeated and depressed. Constantly living in fear and unhappiness. Afraid to live life for fear of making the “millions of lifetimes” become “billions of lifetimes”...

All the while not realizing it was just a theory to start with. Not a pronouncement of some supposed structural universal principle in the universe. 

The Perceived Need For Certainty 

Why has this “blind” belief in the idea of karma, which has risen to an almost religiously-fevered pitch, become so popular? 

Because people want certainty. And they want certainty because their level of inner security demands it. Because we are essentially disconnected within ourselves and therefore insecure, lacking in inner strength. 

So we grasp at anything — yes, even a theory like karma — a theory that if we examine it more closely is fear-inflating, and so it really is not in our best interest. But it seems to give us certainty. It gives us a rule to follow — “Don’t do bad stuff or you will get punished with bad karma. Do good stuff and you will get rewarded by chipping away at your pile of bad karma with your good karma.”

And following that rule is seemingly easier than figuring out within ourselves what makes us happy and basing our choices on that. Because that involves “turning within” and each of us looking at our individual desires and emotional patterns — oooooh, way too much work! So, instead we blindly follow some rule.

And the rule — which started out 10,000 years ago as a theory — is perpetuated.

Free Will

But looking at this old theory about karma more dispassionately, it also contradicts Free Will. 

Free Will means freedom of choice to make any decision one wishes. That means hurtful or helpful decisions. And, hurtful or helpful to oneself...or to others. 

And if that’s the case, it means without restriction. That’s what Free Will means. Otherwise it’s not “free” will. 

Again, I’m talking about this from a spiritual standpoint. Not social. Socially, we may decide to have laws or codes of conduct that forbid certain unacceptable, hurtful behavior. I leave that to the social scientists to decide what and how is best to manage our social behavioral issues. So I am not suggesting we should have no prisons for bad actors in our society, nor am I debating whether that is the best means for curbing their bad social behavior.

Instead, I am talking about this spiritually. And the social issue of having societal laws to follow is not the same as an eternal individual soul “amassing mountains of good or bad karma.”

And looking around for even a split second, we can all see examples of the existence of our Free Will. Our ability to make personal choices — even to disagree when told to do something and to make the opposite choice.

Has anyone ever observed the behavior of a 2-year-old child?

So since Free Will clearly exists, and since it does not fit along with the (now) old theory of karma, even from that standpoint — logically — karma must be the incorrect of the two ideas.

Randomness of Life 

Life is much more random than most of us realize, or would like to admit.

Yes, we do make our own individual choices. And yes, we should make those decisions in as informed a way as possible, and try to take control of our lives as much as we can. Of course that is true.

However, we must also be equally aware of this unmistakeable fact in life: everything is not within our control. Nor is it even possible that everything would be able to be within our control.

Why?

Because many other minds are always involved, known and unknown, in our lives. Directly and indirectly. Seen and unseen. And their Free Will is always operating — their inherent right to have varying desires and their innate ability to act on those desires. In that sense, there’s an inherent randomness to our lives caused in large part by the constant and ever-changing effects of the Free Will of those many minds.

That is just a fact.

And moreover, would we want it any other way? I don’t think so. Wouldn’t we each rather have our individual Free Will to make our own choices in life? Absolutely yes. I think we would all agree to that.

Well, then that comes with consequences. And the randomness in life, i.e., the lack of full control of everything that happens in our lives is part of that consequence.

No Rewards & No Punishments 

No one is rewarded structurally — maybe psychologically, individually and internally — yes, sometimes — but not externally by “the Universe.” And no one is structurally, externally punished by the universe. Said another way: there is no structural place or system of punishment that exists in the system of the universe. It only exists in the minds of some people who choose to believe in that. But that is belief-based. Not based in the structure of reality. 

Yes, no exceptions. Not even a universal structural punishment for Hitler, Stalin, Idi Amin, Genghis Khan. They’re only held accountable by themselves and that’s only if they choose to be. That’s what I mean by internally, individually and psychologically. It’s between Genghis Khan and Genghis Khan to figure out his stuff, if he wants to. No external structure is making him be accountable. Yes. Did he piss off women he raped. Absolutely. Are there consequences from those actions? Absolutely. But it’s his choice to work out those relationships in subsequent lifetimes or not. And it’s also those women’s choices to do so with him or within themselves — or not. All have their individual Free Will operating. Always.

(For what would drive such a personality to acknowledge his accountability, see my essay on Transcending Cruelty below.)

Final Thoughts 

As we have said, there is no karmic “external accounting system” at play. 

After the initial theory of karma was conjured up about 10,000 years ago, that idea was then added to — and conflated further by others — in the subsequent thousands of years.

I hope that helps free you up to enjoy life now with less fear. Discernment and awareness of the consequences of one’s actions is always good — yes — but now we should do the discernment with much less fear. That is the current goal of those who originally created the theory 10,000 years ago.

Similarly, it also the goal of those of us who have been asked by the creators of the theory to let others know that their original intent was a good one, albeit flawed, and thus is now being abandoned. Instead, it is now being replaced in favor of Free Will, the idea that life is an eternal democracy, and that we can transcend cruelty.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.

“Ego”

“Ego”

by Kelvin Chin
Meditation Teacher

(Note: I am not discussing “ego” in psychological terms here.
I am looking at it through the spiritual filter.)

is ego bad?

What about this idea in some spiritual circles that “ego is bad”? Limiting. A negative part of, or description of us.

I strongly disagree.

redefinition

Ego, for me, means individuality. It is therefore neutral. Neither good nor bad. It is just a descriptive term.

How we express that individuality is up to each of us.

I think we tend to insert a negative, limiting connotation to “ego” when we sometimes — within ourselves — feel limited and helpless. We have all been there.

But our individuality is who we are. We are each unique, vibrant, sentient beings.

Individuals.

And there is a profound beauty in that reality. Accepting that is true “self-love.” Not accepting that is self-loathing.

We often hear people use the term “unconditional love.” As I have spoken about on other occasions, that is a redundant term. Love means “accepting the other for who they are, not who we wish they would be.”

So, loving ourselves already means accepting who we are without conditions.

And we each are individuals. With uniquely operating minds (souls, spirits, consciousnesses, all synonymous) and we need to accept and embrace that fact if we are truly “walking our talk” about love and self-love.

Otherwise we are just talking and wasting our breath. Preaching but not acting. Spiritually fraudulent.

the shift

So what is the missing link? How do we make the shift to more fully accepting our individuality — our “ego” sense of self?

First step, make the recognition that we just discussed.

Next step, turning within.

By regularly practicing a technique of effortlessly “turning within,” we automatically begin to nurture and strengthen the connection with ourselves, deep within. And by releasing our physical- emotional stresses and expanding our conscious capacity for mental-psychic experience, we can begin to directly experience the profundity and vastness of who we truly are as human beings. We begin to break the self-imposed limitations. We no longer feel helpless. We feel confident, secure.

We can then experience the sublime power and expansive connectedness we each have within ourselves and can begin to express that outwardly to the world 🌎 around us — our friends, loved ones, acquaintances and yes, strangers.

But this recognition and acceptance of our individuality — and thus ego — as a starting point, is key. Only from that initial understanding can we blossom and grow in our own self-love before we can share that with others — in our families, our work, our lives.

Negating our ego, our individuality, is a non-starter. Why start by shackling, by limiting ourselves?

Of course I understand it is usually neither conscious nor intentional. Understandably, it often comes from a place of vulnerability and helplessness.

But it can be turned around and our individuality made to be a source of strength by “turning within” and experiencing the greatness that lies within us — that is an integral part of “who we are” as individual beings, as beings of light who are temporarily in the bodies of human beings.

From that place of inner power, self-confidence and self-knowing, we can truly begin to experience what life as an individual living on Earth 🌍 can be.

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Kelvin H. Chin is a Meditation Teacher, Life After Life Expert, and Author of “Overcoming the Fear of Death,” “Marcus Aurelius Updated: 21st Century Meditations On Living Life” and “After the Afterlife: Memories of My Past Lives.” He learned to meditate at age 19, and has been teaching Turning Within Meditation and coaching others in their self-growth for 40 years. He helps people understand their life challenges through their individual belief systems, and helps them find their own solutions. His past life memories reach back many centuries, and he accesses those memories in his teaching and his coaching in the same way all coaches draw on their own available experiences for perspective and effective analogies. He can be reached at www.TurningWithin.org.